Weddings are full of traditions. It’s a day of ceremony and rituals and often the people getting married don’t even think twice about what’s really happening – we do it because that’s what a wedding is, right?
Wrong. Weddings are a day to celebrate your love, and in some cases, it’s a day to legally register your relationship as married.
If you’re a couple with a little more individuality and want to do things your way on your wedding day, here are 15 wedding traditions that you might want to think twice about when planning your wedding.
- Asking for ‘permission’
It’s a long-held tradition that the partner asks for permission from their partner’s parents to marry. While some families might expect this, at the end of the day each and every person owns their own selves. The only person that should make decisions, like marriage, is that person, for themselves.
- The diamond engagement ring
Let’s face it diamonds aren’t always the most ethical or affordable choice of stone. Just think, a lot of mining goes into finding the perfectly clear, shiny white diamond.
Our favourite, sapphires. They come in a range of colours, including white, and are usually far less expensive and more readily available.
If you want to skip the whole engagement ring thing – that’s totally okay too. Plant an engagement tree together or get yourselves a puppy to commemorate the day!
Ring from Arbor
- The venue
Traditionally weddings are held in churches but, if that doesn’t suit you and your new spouse to mix it up! A moody forest on the outskirts of town, at a beachside venue or on the rooftop of a building amongst the city skyline are all excellent alternatives.
- The bridal party
Having 3-4 of your best friends standing beside you on your wedding day as your bridal party is usually standard, but had you thought to let go of the idea altogether?
There is no reason why your tribe can’t get ready with you and share the magic in the lead up to your wedding day, and then attend your wedding as a guest.
If you’re torn, maybe having one person there beside you is more your style.
- Having the bridal party matching
It’s one of those really gendered wedding traditions that really don’t make any sense!
If you do want to include a wedding party on your wedding day remember; wedding parties don’t need to match, in gender, in style or in colours. Why should your brother/sister/best friend miss out just because they identify as a different gender to yours?
- The wedding dress
Wedding dresses do not need to be white. Don’t be afraid to be bold when choosing what’s best for you. And if you don’t want to wear a dress, a suit, jumpsuit or something more casual that you can be 100% yourself in, then that’s a-ok!
- Not seeing one another until you walk down the aisle
There is something so intimate and romantic about two people getting ready for their wedding day together. If you usually do absolutely everything together as a couple, sharing those emotions together might be something to always treasure.
And, if you still want that element of surprise, having a first look, in private, just the two of you and your photographer is something to absolutely consider. Plus, it’ll help calm the nerves, get some of those happy tears out and experience those last few moments together as engaged.
- One person waiting down the end of the aisle
There are plenty of ways to get yourself and your loved one down the wedding aisle, we’ve got a few ideas HERE.
- A flower girl and a page boy
Another one of those gendered traditions that just don’t need to apply!
If you do want to include these roles, remember, you don’t need to limit them to children! A fur baby can make the most adorable ring bearer, and we’ve seen grandmothers as flower girls that have filled our hearts with joy.
- The ‘giving away’ of the bride
Traditionally, the father of the bride would give away his daughter, but maybe you want both your parents by your side or a family member or friend. Maybe, you don’t feel the need to be ‘given away’ – again, only you can make decisions for yourself and your body.
- The veil
Your grandmother wore one, your mother wore one but do you really feel a veil is for you? It’s a tradition rooted in the belief of purity that doesn’t necessarily translate into our modern culture.
- Exchanging wedding rings
You’ve already got the engagement rings, do you really need another? A beautiful hand binding ceremony might be something to consider instead, or just get to the vows and seal the deal with a kiss with your newlywed!
- A sit-down dinner
If the formality of sitting down to a 3-course dinner with 80 or so guests makes you cringe, food trucks, roving canapes and buffets can all be options!
- The wedding cake
Don’t eat cake? Why on earth would you have a wedding cake?! We promise that you skip out on the cake and have a selection of treats on offer there will be no complaints from the guests.
If you want to cut something, a doughnut tier or a stack of cheese wheels are excellent alternatives.
- The first dance
Are you a couple that has four left feet between you? Why put yourselves through the pressure of having a public first dance? If it’s something that instils fear, you’re not going to enjoy it. Invite everyone on to the dancefloor, together!