Grab the limited edition hardcover version of Dancing With Her Magazine and get a free copy of our book 'How to Plan a Wedding'.
Now Reading
Questioning Sexuality after an Abusive Relationship and Finding Love

Questioning Sexuality after an Abusive Relationship and Finding Love

Maple & Ochre Photography captured this gorgeous surprise lesbian proposal at Manly New South Wales

Sammy and I had both previously been in long-term relationships, and we were in ”that phase” of wanting to get ourselves back out there without committing to something long-term.

Well, we matched, and I found myself glued to my phone every moment, every day, waiting for her next reply.

She asked me some pointed questions about my sexuality and when I came out. I told her I wasn’t out and was a bit confused in that department. I know this can be a major red flag for some, but she listened and was non-judgemental. I spoke about my own struggles with coming out and the unknown of it all, professionally and personally. I talked about my past and how I had hooked up with women, but it was ”just a college/curious/drunk hookup” for them – and a very deep, very real feeling for me. I spoke about how I had buried those feelings since I was 17 and that I said ”yes” to an emotionally abusive man. I told her how I continued to stay silent when he mistreated me and didn’t open up to any of my friends and family because I genuinely thought I was in the wrong. It seemed the more I opened up to her about all of the dark parts of my past, the more safe and secure she made me feel.

Sammy has this beautiful, welcoming warmth that radiates from her. She is the most empathetic person I’ve met. Not only does she make you feel safe, she remembers every detail of your story as if she lived through it herself. She considered the perspectives of everyone in the situation and isn’t biased, which challenged me at times (I just wanted her to be on my side!). She enlightens me and encourages me to learn from the darkest times of my life.

Which brings me to how the proposal came about. I had three goals for myself when I turned 30. First, to stop caring about other people’s thoughts/opinions. To throw out all traditional timelines of when things ”should” happen, to be true to me and live an authentic and present life.

I did this when, after nine months of knowing and growing with Sammy, I dropped the knee on my 30th ”wear all white” birthday party on the pier at Manly Boathouse. We then celebrated with all our nearest and dearest over lunch, and holy Mary, the weather was shit. It bucketed down and blew a gale, but I didn’t give two cents; I was on cloud nine. As we were walking out to the bus, I turned around to look over the harbour and the most vibrant rainbow you have ever seen spread across the sky.

I thank my lucky rainbows and sunflowers that she came into my life to show me what forever love feels like. It has no barriers or biases. It is not a phase. It doesn’t care about ”baggage” or your past relationships. It’s not careless or fleeting. It’s a concious, consistent effort to show up for the one you love.

I am so grateful all the stepping stones in my life led me to her and her to me.

30 feels f**king fab, and I can’t wait for the wedding.

Photography by Maple & Ochre Photography

©2023 DANCING WITH HER®. All Rights Reserved.

Dancing With Her acknowledges the Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples of this nation. We acknowledge the Dja Dja Wurrung people whose Land on which our company is located and where we primarily conduct our business. We pay our respects to Ancestors and Elders, past, present and emerging. Dancing With Her is committed to honoring Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Peoples unique cultural and spiritual relationships to the land, waters and seas and their rich contribution to society.

Scroll To Top