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Ash & Sasha – Being the Non-Gestational Parent of Twins

Ash & Sasha – Being the Non-Gestational Parent of Twins

Jones and Jagger photography newborn same-sex lesbian queer donor sperm fertility family Dancing With Her magazine

Ash and Sasha used a private sperm donor to conceive their twins. Ash watched their wife carry the babies, and speaks of their experience as the non-gestational parent.

How did you find your private donor in Australia?

We found our private donor through Sperm Donation Australia. We wanted to find someone who had the same characteristics as Ash so that the boys would potentially look like her. We were wrong. I think Angus will be a little redhead or strawberry blonde, and Darcy will be a light brown. 

We tried two rounds with our first donor, and they were unsuccessful. We tried the third month with a second donor, and it worked!

What was the pregnancy and birth experience like for Ash, as the non-gestational parent?

S: It was very important to us that even though Ash didn’t carry the boys, they were our children. We always said that no matter what, they would share her Surname. 

A: During the pregnancy, there were so many emotions. Good, nervous, excited and anxious. There were days where I was petrified that the boys would know that I’m not biologically their parent, but those days were minimal. I was just in awe 24/7, watching my wife growing and glowing as the time passed and the boys were growing.

The birth experience- well.. besides being an anxious mess on the morning of the c-section, it was honestly the best moment I have ever gone through. Seeing the boys for the first time and holding Sasha’s hand through it all was something so special. It was love at first sight. I feel complete.

How has having Angus and Darcy changed your life?

S: Angus and Darcy have taught us so much. The first few weeks were hard because they were premature and stayed in the hospital for three weeks. They taught us that we are so much stronger than we realized. They taught us that as long as we all have each other that we have everything we need.

They have also taught us to slow down. That pile of washing will still be there, the dirty bottles will still be there, but the little moments, the smiles and the times that they need us won’t last forever, so we need to just stop and embrace them. 

These babies have changed our life. There isn’t a time now where I can imagine not having them. They are two very special little boys to us. They have given us a love for each other and them that we didn’t think was possible. 

They make us want to be better people. They make us want to work harder to provide the best life and love we can give them.

Photography by Jones and Jagger

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