A Queer Jewish Wedding in Virginia

Incorporating Jewish traditions into their two bride wedding was something that was important – that and incorporating their mutual love of beer.

Tell us about the proposal.

Given that Gussie fell in love with Sam after only a few dates and almost immediately after ending another serious, years-long relationship she was skeptical of her own feelings in the beginning. She began keeping a note in her phone of all the reasons she knew that Sam was “the one.” So that she’d be able to read all her misconceptions later if she was proven wrong and hopefully prevent herself from making the same mistake in the future.

Gussie continued to maintain this note as time went on. And she grew more confident that Sam was her end game. What started as a bulleted list in her phones grew. Gussie synthesized what began as a bulleted list in her phone and grew to include countless pictures, videos, and memories and compiled them into a proposal movie. Gussie surprised Sam by reserving the theater in our apartment building and showing her the movie.

On our way back to the apartment after a night out with friends, Gussie pretended that she needed to pick up her keys that she had accidentally left downstairs earlier that day from the apartment building’s concierge, who was setting up for an event in the theater. Sam sat down, very confused by why I asked her to sit down and what movie was playing. By the time Sam realized what was going on, Gussie was down on one knee and Sam was utterly overwhelmed with joy and surprise. One of our closest friends was hiding in the back row of the theater, filming Sam’s reaction to the proposal.

How did you incorporate dumpster diving into wedding prep?

In addition to mixing cement in the bathroom of our studio apartment, we were also doing unusual things leading up to the wedding, like dumpster diving. Gussie initially thought that she could personally drink every beer needed for the party favors and décor. Still, when we started getting pressed on time, we found ourselves asking local establishments if we could pick through their recycling bins for beer cans and bottles. For example, one night, we went axe throwing for a friend’s birthday and found ourselves impressed by the can selection in their recycling bin, so we asked if we could pick through it.

Tell us some unforgettable moments from the wedding day.

A long-time family friend made debuted as an officiant at our wedding. She wrote a beautiful ceremony that celebrated the 50th anniversary of both “Virginia is for Lovers” and the Stonewall riots. Recognizing the sacrifices of those who paved the way for us to be standing there on our wedding day.
Gussie’s 90-year-old grandfather, who has since passed, was sick and couldn’t attend the wedding or walk her down the aisle. So his handkerchief was wrapped around her bouquet.
One of our good friends made our rainbow wedding cake.
Gussie’s mom concocted the recipes for the signature cocktails that got everyone at the reception lit.
Gussie and her mom made a toilet paper dress for Gussie’s best friend to wear for the first look instead of Gussie. It was hilarious.

What are your favorite moments?

Gussie decided to wear her flip-flops down the aisle, and when it came time to break the glass during the ceremony, her very worn soles wouldn’t allow her to get the job done.
Sam’s 90-year-old grandmother, who has since passed, was too ill to be with us on our wedding day but somehow managed to accidentally FaceTime Sam, so she was able to see her in her wedding dress.
Our flower girls were cousins that are close in age with very different personalities and got into a disagreement over one not throwing flower petals or sitting in the seat where we had practiced during rehearsal the day before when they were walking down the aisle.
Gussie’s mom’s bracelet got hung on the bust of her dress when she was walking her down the aisle.
The look of absolute joy and sheer fear in Sam and Gussie’s eyes, respectively, during Gussie’s first horah. As evidenced by the moments the photographer captured.
During the father-daughter dance, Sam’s dad accidentally stepped on her toes and referred to Gussie’s mom and stepdad, Tracey and Wes, as “Stacey and Del” during his toast.