We definitely talked about engagement and marriage a lot, especially when our relationship became long distance. We started out being in the same place until Megan lost her job due to COVID, then relocated for her new job. When the transition was happening, there was a lot of uncertainty surrounding our relationship. That’s when we first started talking about where we stood, where we saw ourselves going.
We both had taken our relationship SUPER seriously from the start, and we’re very committed to each other. Still, we didn’t want to get engaged until after giving ourselves time and space to adjust to the distance.
When did you know the time was right?
Megan first thought of her engagement idea in December and planned it for February when she knew she was making a trip back home. Little did she know that Kam had planned a proposal for a visit to Tampa over Christmas break! After Megan said yes, she knew that she wanted to keep her proposal plan and give Kam the same beautiful experience she had had when being proposed to.
Then, in the snowy Arkansas hills, Megan asked Kam to marry her back.
What does your engagement mean to you both?
It means so much. We have been through a lot the past year. We quarantined together, lived together, both of us came out to some really significant people in our lives that we had not told about our sexuality yet, and then, of course, the move. It means so much to call one another fiance, to be able to start truly planning our future together, knowing that this is what we both want. We are so excited.
I don’t think things have changed a whole lot, just having a little more security in the relationship. Not all relationships need an engagement to do that, but I think for us- with the distance- it helps, and it’s just fun!
You’ve had so much change, in such little time. Do you have advice for others?
Anyone who has not come out yet to important folks in their life is in a committed relationship: IT’S STILL OK TO TAKE YOUR TIME. You have to take care of yourself, invest in your relationship, and continue to accept yourself wholly. It’s ok to hold off until you know you are safe and in a place emotionally where you can come out.
Also, never ever underestimate the importance of chosen family. Chosen family is EVERYTHING. They have made us feel so unbelievably loved, accepted, and celebrated throughout this process so far! We cannot describe how much love they have given. You don’t have to give up on your blood family, but take time to invest in and start building a chosen family. You won’t regret it.
Also, we decided to BOTH change our last name. We both are of German descent, and so we chose the word “Standhaft” for our last name. It means “steadfast,” which is a really great description of our love so far.
Photography by Annamarie Trank
