Katy & Jess

Words by Katy

We have been together for almost four years and met at a local queer karaoke night. We were friends for a while, then Jess and I took a fateful trip to New York City. That was four years ago. And what was, at first, ‘just a ride’ turned into a journey that changed our lives.

The beginning was complicated, as many relationships are. But I knew when I didn’t want that first road trip in her Jeep ever to end. I would be with Jess in a way I had never been with anyone before her.

Jess found an old diary entry of mine from when I was about twelve years old, and inside I had written out ‘My perfect day’. It was to take place in Wellfleet, Massachusetts and involved waking up to pancakes and in silk pajamas, surfing, eating french fries on the pier, etc.

In September 2017, Jess took me on a surprise trip to the Cape. When I woke up the next day, she presented me with pancakes and silk pajamas. From there, Jess proceeded to recreate my ‘perfect day’ ending in a proposal on a jetty overlooking the bay.

I followed up with a proposal of my own. Recruiting Jess’ flag football team to assist. Once I had a ring for Jess, I had the entire team drop down on their knee when the ref whistled the end of a game. With everyone else on the field on their knees, and Jess standing (confused), Katy and I ran out onto the field as Lady Gaga’s ‘The Cure’ played, and I put a ring on it to make it official! We were engaged for one year.

Nothing can prepare you for the ups and downs of planning a wedding. We learned so much about ourselves and each other in the process. There was a lot of unexpected stress outside of the wedding planning that happened just months before the day, and it ended up bringing us closer in a way.

I landed on the very first dress I tried on! To be fair, I had scoped out the designer on Instagram. As luck would have it, a nearby boutique was hosting a Rue De Seine trunk show that weekend.

The original plan was to buy online for Jess, but as the date grew closer, we hadn’t found the perfect suit. Jess knew she wanted blue velvet. I found Bindle and Keep, and they tailor-made the perfect midnight blue blazer with black pants. Mary, Katy’s best friend, is a jewelry designer and made a custom bolo to complete the look.

When we began planning, I initially liked art deco, and Jess was more fond of a modern look. We landed on a pretty eclectic and vibrant ‘vibe’ that our venues really inspired.

We worked with a local planner, The Little Things, who helped us go from vague style preferences to perfectly executed spaces. Luckily the art gallery that hosted our ceremony was already a beautiful space with the walls chock full of Ptown artists’ work. We kept it simple with a copper arch adorned with florals, gunmetal chairs, and some silver confetti along the aisle.

The reception space amped it up with a black and white dance floor and disco balls, hanging florals, etc. It felt unique and ‘us’. It wasn’t a cookie-cutter wedding with a strict theme or colors.

Jess and I fell in love with each other- but also with a place. Provincetown, MA. It has long been a refuge for our community. A source of serenity, beauty, art, and culture and a few parties thrown in for good measure. It is where we go to connect and was a natural choice for where we wanted to tie the knot.

We wanted our guests to feel like the ‘venue’ was really the entire town. Our ceremony was held in an art gallery at the Provincetown Art Association and Museum. Officiated by a local innkeeper with who we have grown to develop a bond with over our many visits.

The cocktail hour was hosted in the center of town at Bar Relief Park. Followed by dinner and dancing in Town Hall, which had been transformed into a floral disco dreamscape.

Everything about that day and night felt like it perfectly reflected the two of us and set the stage for the rest of our lives together.

Our favorite part of the day was right after the ceremony. We hopped into a pedicab- which is the quintessential way to get around in Ptown. They had a ‘Just Married’ sign on the back, and we rode from the art museum to cocktail hour in the center of town. As we rode down Commercial Street, it was like our own mini parade. Onlookers were cheering and taking photos as we whizzed by. It was at once a very unique, public celebration of the vows we had made minutes prior, but also an intimate moment between the two of us to bask in joy.

There are so many metaphors that come to mind when we describe how we think about marriage. A blank canvas, a seed, a fire, basically something to nurture or create over time.

Our love for each other constitutes the raw materials for a successful long marriage; the rest is a lot of work, communication, and commitment. It’s the little things (good and bad) that over time, shape you into new versions of yourself and make your relationship stronger and different.

It is the most worthwhile endeavor we can take on and probably one of the most challenging, especially in our modern world.

Marriage to us is also family, the family we now have in each other and the one we hope to grow!