Words by Katy
We have been together for almost four years and met at a local queer karaoke night. We were friends for a while…then Jess and I took a fateful trip to New York City. That was four years ago and what was, at first, ‘just a ride’ turned into a trip that changed our lives.
The beginning was complicated, as many relationships are- but I knew when I didn’t want that first road trip in her Jeep to ever end that I would be with Jess in a way I had never been with anyone before her.
Jess found an old diary entry of mine from when I was about 12 years old and inside I had written out ‘My perfect day’.
It was to take place in Wellfleet, MA and involved waking up to pancakes and in silk pyjamas, surfing, eating french fries on the pier, etc. In September 2017, Jess took me on a surprise trip to the Cape, and when I woke up the next day, she presented me with pancakes and silk pyjamas. From there, Jess proceeded to recreate my ‘perfect day’ ending in a proposal on a jetty overlooking the bay.
I followed up with a proposal of my own- recruiting Jess’ flag football team to assist. Once I had a ring for Jess, I had the entire team drop down on their knee when the ref whistled the end of a game. With everyone else on the field on their knees, and Jess standing (confused), Katy and I ran out onto the field as Lady Gaga’s ‘The Cure’ played, and put a ring on it to make it official!
We were engaged one year.
Nothing can prepare you for the ups and downs of planning a wedding. We learned so much about ourselves and each other in the process. There was a lot of unexpected stress outside of the wedding planning that happened just months before the day, and it ended up bringing us closer in a way.
I landed on the very first dress I tried on! To be fair, I had scoped out the designer on Instagram, and as luck would have it, a nearby boutique was hosting a Rue de Seine trunk show that weekend.
For Jess, the original plan was to buy online, but as the date grew closer, we hadn’t found the perfect suit. Jess knew she wanted blue velvet. I found Bindle and Keep and they tailor-made the perfect midnight blue blazer with black pants. Katy’s best friend, Mary, is a jewellery designer and made a custom bolo to complete the look.
When we began planning, I initially liked art deco, and Jess was more fond of a modern look. We landed on a pretty eclectic and vibrant palette/’vibe’ that I think was really inspired by our venues.
We worked with a local planner, The Little Things, who helped us go from vague style preferences to perfectly executed spaces. Luckily the art gallery that hosted our ceremony was already a beautiful space (walls were chock full of work by Ptown artists), so we kept it simple with a copper arch adorned with florals, gunmetal chairs, and some silver confetti along the aisle.
The reception space amped it up with black an white dance floor and disco balls, hanging florals, etc. It felt unique and ‘us’. It wasn’t a cookie cutter wedding with a strict theme or colours.
Jess and I fell in love with each other- but also with a place…Provincetown, MA. It has long been a refuge for our community and a source of serenity, beauty, art, and culture (and a few parties thrown in for good measure). It is where we go to connect and was a natural choice for where we wanted to tie the knot.
We wanted our guests to feel like the ‘venue’ was really the entire town. Our ceremony was held in an art gallery at Provincetown Art Association and Museum, officiated by a local innkeeper who we have grown to develop a bond with over our many visits.
The cocktail hour was hosted in the centre of town at Bar Relief Park followed by dinner and dancing in Town Hall which had been transformed into a floral disco dreamscape.
Everything about that day and night felt like it perfectly reflected the two of us, and set the stage to the rest of our lives together.
Our favourite part of the day was right after the ceremony. We hopped into a pedicad- which is the quintessential way to get around in Ptown. They had a ‘Just Married’ sign on the back, and we rode from the art museum to cocktail hour in the centre of town. As we rode down Commercial Street, it was like our own mini parade.
Onlookers were cheering and taking photos as we whizzed by. It was at once a very unique, public celebration of the vows we had made minutes prior, but also an intimate moment between the two of us to bask in joy.
There are so many metaphors that come to mind when we describe how we think about marriage: a blank canvas, a seed, a fire, basically something to nurture or create over time.
Our love for each other constitutes the raw materials for a successful long marriage; the rest is a lot of work, communication, and commitment. It’s the little things (good and bad) that over time, shape you into new versions of yourself and make your relationship stronger and different.
It is the most worthwhile endeavour we can take on, and probably one of the most challenging, especially in our modern world.
Marriage to us is also family, the family we now have in each other and the one we hope to grow!
Cake Wildflower Bakery | Catering MAX Ultimate Food | Ceremony Venue Provincetown Art Association and Museum | Celebrant Ilene Mitnick |Decorative Elements PEAK rentals | Planner & Stylist The Little Things | Entertainment DJ Frank White | Rings Mary Gallagher