A Lesbian Elopement Filled with Romance and Adventure

A intimate lesbian elopement in Big Sur, California

We first met and started dating on September 29, 2019. We got engaged a year later on Emily’s birthday on October 2, 2020. We then got married a year later, on October 11, 2021.

We initially matched on the dating app Bumble. We talked about how we are Boston sports fans because we each have extended family living in Massachusetts. Our first date was at Connecticut Yankee, a Boston sports bar in San Francisco. We met to watch a Patriots game on a Sunday morning. No idea who won the game that day, but we had a great first date!

Aside from your wedding, what is your favorite memory together?

In November 2019, about two months after we started dating, Caitlin took Emily on a camping trip with some friends to Yosemite. It was Emily’s first time ever tent camping. The temps that weekend dropped into single digits. All of their other friends opted to car camp because of the cold temps, but Caitlin insisted they stick to the tent to give Emily the “real” camping experience. While they both decided the trip was ultimately worth it, Caitlin has not asked Emily to go camping in the winter ever since. Emily prefers glamping but has promised to try to like camping for Caitlin (this was part of her vows).

Tell us about the proposal.

Caitlin and Emily planned a trip to New Zealand, where Caitlin had initially planned to propose in Milford Sound. However, due to COVID, the trip abroad was canceled, and they planned a trip to the San Juan Islands in Washington instead. Unfortunately, in the month leading up to the trip to the San Juan Islands, there were large wildfires and smoke in Washington, and Caitlin was very worried they might have to cancel the trip as well. Fortunately, the fires were contained, and the smoke (mostly) cleared up, so they were able to make it!

Caitlin proposed on the rocks at the base of Lime Kiln Lighthouse on San Juan Island on Emily’s 30th birthday (10/03/20). That morning, Caitlin went to pick up carrot cake cupcakes, coffee, and champagne from the local farmer’s market. They visited an alpaca farm and a lavender field (Emily’s favorite) before going to the lighthouse. Caitlin had hired a photographer to take photos of the proposal from one of the cliffs near the lighthouse. Caitlin, who is typically very confident, was very nervous about proposing and wanted to get things right. Emily (as usual) was very reassuring and mostly nervous about Caitlin falling into the ocean and/or dropping the ring in the water. Fortunately, the proposal went off without a hitch, and Emily said yes! After Caitlin proposed, we celebrated with a private whale-watching charter and dinner at the Friday Harbor House.

Talk us through the decision to elope.

Honestly, COVID was the perfect excuse for our elopement/small wedding. Neither of us loves being the center of attention or making small talk. We were lucky to have all the significant fixings of a wedding (wedding planner, photographer, florist, stylist, catering company, rental company, etc.), but we only had five guests. We loved the intimacy of our elopement and focused on the things that made us happy.

Tell us about telling your loved ones that you’re now married.

We told most of our friends, family, and colleagues as soon as we got engaged. After taking our engagement photos and planning our elopement, we sent out announcement cards to our friends and family that read: “Dear friends and family, we are delighted to announce we are tying the knot in a small private ceremony in Big Sur. We love you and know you all will be cheering us on in spirit. Once the world returns to normal, we hope to have an anniversary party to celebrate. We cannot wait to see everyone!” After we got married, we sent out holiday cards with photos from our wedding.

Talk us through the actual elopement.

Emily and I reserved the Bridge House at Glen Oaks Resort in Big Sur for our wedding weekend as our accommodations. The property is gorgeous – you cross over a suspension bridge to a cluster of structures under the redwood trees. Everything was picturesque and romantic – there is a stream nearby where we saw deer. There was an outdoor clawfoot bathtub at the bunkhouse under the redwoods.

The morning of our wedding, Emily cooked breakfast for everyone in the Bridge House. Emily, her sister, and her best friend then left to get ready in the Bunk House. Caitlin and her friends stayed and got ready in the Bridge House.

We each hand-wrote our vows the morning of the wedding.

We had our first look at the suspension bridge and took photos under the redwoods before driving to the ceremony. Caitlin rented a classic Porsche for the wedding, and we drove down Route 1 to the wedding in the Porsche. Funny story – we were an hour late to our own wedding ceremony because Caitlin didn’t realize there was a button to push on the shifter to shift the car into reverse! We had to enlist the services of a maintenance guy at the resort to help us back the Porsche out of the parking spot.

We arrived at our ceremony, and it was beyond expectations with the weather cooperating too! The ceremony then took place on a cliff overlooking the ocean surrounded by Japanese Black Pine trees. Caitlin’s college friend, Alex, officiated the wedding with the theme of “chosen family.” There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

Following the ceremony, we spent ten minutes alone sitting on a whale bone bench. Our wedding planner insisted on us spending the first ten minutes alone as a married couple to soak up the experience, sipping champagne and looking out at the ocean.

We had our first dance to John Legend’s song, “Stay.” We had an outdoor dinner catered with a custom menu inspired by our favorite dishes and our wedding cake was a Strawberry buttercream vanilla cake from a local French bakery.

After our wedding dinner, guests were transported back to Glen Oaks. We then stayed at the ceremony site with a beautiful set up of fire pits, pillows, and blankets to stargaze, drink champagne, and eat cake, just the two of us.