Words by Marília
We met three years ago at the only LGBTQIA+ friendly party in our small town. Pretty much every queer couple in this town met at that party. We hooked up a couple of times but never really talked or had any dates outside the party zone. So, after almost one year of kisses and drinks at said party, we decided to have a date in a small cozy park. It was love on the first date.
We left the place with already a second date scheduled and have never stopped dating since then. We started dating one month after the first date and four months after we were already moving in together. The funny thing was, both of us on the first date talked about how much we weren’t the ‘moving in together type.’ Well, I guess we just hadn’t met the right person yet.
We went through rough patches. Especially learning how to deal with Maria’s mental illness as a couple and how to organize our pays, debts, and everything else that comes with having a home together. It wasn’t easy, there was a lot of crying. But we came out stronger through all of the downs in the end.
So, since we already live the ‘married life.’ Marriage was always something we talked about, but as a plan for the future, for a ‘right time with more money to spend.’
Unfortunately, last year in Brazil, we had the 2018 elections. And a homophobic, conservative, and very anti-human rights and everything good in the world was elected in Brazil. Fear and panic settled into every queer couple in here. There was fear of losing our small victories we had made up to this point, losing out hard-fought right to marriage equality [which isn’t law here in Brazil yet]. Many LGBT couples started a race to marry before the new president began his mandate in the country.
One day, after his election, Maria’s depression gave a hard kick in our asses. In the middle of a big crying session, I knelt down in the middle of our kitchen and asked her to marry me. No fancy proposal, no big secret, no fancy act. Just us, at the safety of our homes and the ghost of dark days in our country haunting us. Now we are one of the couples hurrying to get married before the president does anything against that right.
I proposed with a ring that cost $3 that we already had in our things. The moment didn’t ask for a big fancy ring and still doesn’t. We know how deep and serious our love is and don’t really care for anything else.
Maria says that to her, our engagement means the right of spending the rest of our lives together. I agree. I think our engagement means; besides the love and compromise that we’re making to each other, the scream for existence, it’s us showing that we are a couple that has a history and that our love is valid and needs respect.
Photography by Amanda Prestes