A Queer Disco Wedding in an Adelaide Nightclub

Words by Rachel

Kate and Rach’s story starts leading to Kate’s 30th birthday.

They’ve known of each other for many years, with plenty of mutual friends, but have scraped through their twenties without barely saying more than a hello to each other.

Yet, despite not connecting, there was clearly something nibbling away at the subconscious on their mind grapes. Anytime Rach sees Kate at shared events, she thinks to herself, who is that person with the kid? Kate says that she always assumed Rach was just much too cool for her, something only a stranger to Rachel would think. And it is one of these mutual friends, who ultimately suggests they’d be a good match.

So we’re in the countdown to Kate’s 30th. Kate is feeling the pressure and is looking for ways to celebrate. In response Rach messages Kate offering her (newly acquired) driving skills to take Kate and a bunch of Kate’s friends around for a wine tour.

Plot twist; Kate hates wine tours and is a little spooked by the random generous offer, especially since it’s the first actual conversation they have. But she quickly learns that acts of service are just Rachel’s love language. And Kate is here for it.

A few more weeks go by and Rach creates a group chat with Kate and Karsha called, “The Tinder Clusterfuck”, where they overshare their woes of casual dating.

With encouragement from Karsha, Kate breaks away from the safety of the group chat and asks Rach out.

They spend some time together in bars, in restaurants, visits during work hours… are they friends, or are they dating? It was definitely *something*.

It was when Rach sent Kate a box of eclairs as an apology she could not make a dinner party, that Kate knew she was on to something pretty special.

Kate and Rach have never really aligned themselves with traditional relationship markers. There was never a sunset proposal, but instead, a casual conversation about ‘signing some papers if you’d like to?’ as they waited for a bus. They say their love transcends social norms, and instead, it thrives on authenticity.

Their deep connection with each other and their shared values around community lead to the creation of their inclusive and accessible LGBTIQ+ night space in Adelaide, My Lover Cindi. They launched in April 2021 and have not just survived as a new business during a global pandemic, but thrived in the venture of running a little gay bar in their city.

A vibrant and welcoming meeting space, it was always going to be where they chose to ‘make things legit on paper’.

For Kate and Rach, celebrating their love at their queer venue, surrounded by nearest and dearest, was euphoric. They chose a night-time winter ceremony; the sun had set as guests followed the laneway fairylights into the dimly-lit venue, greeted enthusiastically by Cindi’s staff. Disco-balls in abundance shimmered against a striking red backdrop on stage, with luscious florals spread throughout the venue.

The chatter of excited guests faded as Kaurna Elder, Jack Buckskin, stepped onto stage and welcomed all onto Kaurna Country through powerful song. Kate and Rach’s dear friend and marriage celebrant, Claire Parsons gave a humour-filled account of their love story, they exchanged their personal vows, and were announced “Married!”.

The iconic vocals of Whitney Houston’s “Higher Love” exploded through the room as Kate and Rach shared their first kiss, and golden confetti fell all over.

It is a moment they say which felt like their whole relationship wrapped up in a few seconds; excitement, magic, and a deeply gratuitous love.

With formalities over, guests were able to let loose to the queer and joy of Cindi’s resident DJs; an opportunity to celebrate their love followed by a party was exactly the type of ceremony Kate and Rach had wanted, and having it all immortalised in film by their friend and photographer, Hannah, is something they will be grateful for, for all of their days.

Getting married in this way, at My Lover Cindi, was where they felt most seen, most themselves, and totally head-over-glitter-cowboy-boots in love with each other.

Kate and Rach’s relationship has been dotted with tremendous challenges throughout its course, especially in the huge endeavor of running a business, and they both accept disagreement as an important and natural part of sharing life with someone. But at its core, Kate and Rach believe deeply in the power of trust, communication, honesty, compassion and a good sense of humour. From making morning coffee, to taking life changing risks, Kate and Rach look forward to spending the rest of their lives making precious memories together.