There is no one ‘right’ way to write your wedding vows.
You can write them in any way you would like. That might be the same, different, matching the same pattern, or even using the lyrics to ‘your’ song.
Things to consider about writing your own vows.
Here are a few pros to writing your wedding vows:
- They add a personal touch to your wedding ceremony.
- You get to share a moment with your partner.
- You’ve got something to hold them to in the future!
- They can add a touch of humor to the wedding.
Here are a few cons to consider when writing your wedding vows:
- If you’re private people, it might feel like too much sharing.
- Anxiety or nerves could overshadow your day if you’re feeling nervous.
- It can be a challenge to communicate what you really mean.
- Keeps the ceremony short and sharp.
How to Write Your Wedding Vows.
First of all, think about what you want to tell your partner. Do you want to tell them why you love them? Do you want to thank them for all of their support? Are your vows about just you two, or about your family as well? Do you want to make a vow to your child/ren, or your friends too?
And, don’t rush them. Start writing them in the weeks and months before the big day, not two days before. This will help you articulate what you want to say best.
If you are really stuck, use an easy to follow wedding vow structure.
Here’s a foolproof wedding vow structure.
If you don’t want to go about writing completely from scratch, here’s an outline of the wedding vow structure that always works.
Tell them something they might not know. Or maybe how you felt before you met, or how they’d added to your life so far.
OPTION 1 – SWEET
“Before we met, I didn’t think this happiness existed, because you have bought more love into my life than I ever thought was possible”
OPTION 2 – FUNNY
“Lover, you are the most annoying person that I have ever met, and I can’t for a second imagine my life without you.
Here you can add in what you’d like to promise them. You can agree on how many promises you’d like to make each other, or just write how many you’d like.
OPTION 1 – SWEET
I promise to always be there to cuddle you when you need a hug.
OPTION 2 – FUNNY
I promise to always take the blame for the dogs’ farts.
Tell them that you love them, and tell them why you love them. Remember, we are here today to celebrate love. Try not to go too funny here; this part is what they’ll remember the most.
Stuck? Here’s a handful of vow starters to get you started.
Here are a few sentences that might spark some inspiration if you’re thinking of writing your own wedding vows.
- “I promise to always…”
- “I love you because…”
- “I will never…”
- “Since the moment I met you…”
- “Together, we’ll…”
- “No matter what happens…”
- “I cannot wait to…”
Who says their wedding vows first?
The person who is most nervous about saying their vows should go first. That way, they’ll have a chance to hear what your partner is saying. If neither of you, or both of you, are worried about public speaking, flipping a coin or rock paper scissors to decide for you can be great.
Also, you can also ask your Celebrant or Officiant who they think should go first. Many people’s vows will have some similarity between them, and if one of you has promised to do something the other person has lovingly touched on, it could make sense for you to go after them.
And, some final things to note.
Because wedding vow writing is something you won’t have to do too often;
- Remember! Killer over filler – it doesn’t matter how long they are. If they feel right, they are right.
- This is the warmest, most onside crowd you’ll ever have. They’re not here to judge you. They’re here to support you.
- Print them up, turn them into art, or keep them somewhere special so you can remember them for years to come
- Don’t forget to breathe.
Precious Celebrations is a queer Melbourne wedding Celebrant who specializes in working with the LGBTQ+ community to create unique and inclusive wedding ceremonies. You’ll find Precious Celebrations in our online directory of inclusive wedding vendors from around the world.