Fire Rituals and Drag Queens: A Queer Nantucket Island Wedding
There’s a quiet poetry in how Christine (she/her) and Jillian (she/her) found each other: two women sharing tea, fruit, and conversation in an office that slowly turned into something more. What began as a “bookclub for two” became a love that asked for courage: to leave behind old roles, rebuild family, and create a life rooted in care.
Their Nantucket Island queer wedding reflected that same energy: intimate, intentional, and full of heart. With their children at the center, they exchanged vows beneath a handmade cedar arbor, burned written intentions in a cauldron, and ended the night dancing with a drag queen under pink light.
A Workplace Connection Turned Romance
It all began with what we called “bookclub for two,” a weekly Wednesday ritual in the office over tea and fruit. For three years, we worked side by side, slowly realizing our connection was something extraordinary. When our reading list shifted from Leadership Without Easy Answers to Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown, so did our relationship. We could no longer ignore what was between us.
Ours wasn’t the easiest path. We were in a boss-employee relationship, both partnered at the time, and navigating a web of change was inevitable. But love like this doesn’t ask for permission, it asks for courage. Through resignations, breakups, and redefined family ties, we kept love and the children at the center. When the dust settled, we were stronger for it, and so was the community that stood by us.
A Costa Rica Beach Proposal
Christine proposed to Jillian on their first day in Costa Rica. While Jillian surfed, Christine calmed her nerves by painting a small watercolor on the beach. The words on it read, “Jillian Tomlinson Fraker, will you marry me?”
They were engaged for about a year and a half, just long enough to savor the excitement and plan the celebration at their own pace.
Planning a Wedding on Nantucket Island
After years of running an independent school side by side, planning a wedding felt like returning to that same creative rhythm. We’ve always worked well together, so dividing tasks came naturally. We each leaned into our strengths. Jillian’s Nantucket roots gave us access to incredible local talent, from photographer Katie Kaizer Photography to our drag performer, Sheyonce She She Fogo, and many late nights of dreaming turned those ideas into something real.
How did you choose your vendors, and what mattered most in those decisions?
Our friend and healer, Liz Feeley, offered her beautiful home and gardens for the wedding, which set the tone for everything else. We chose Nantucket wedding photographer Katie Kaizer for her incredible work and her allyship with the LGBTQ+ community. Our drag performer, Sheyonce She She Fogo, also from Nantucket, gave their first-ever wedding performance that night, filling the celebration with so much queer pride and happiness.
How did you decide who to invite and the size of your celebration?
We wanted an intimate wedding surrounded by people who had truly supported us. After everything we’d been through, it felt right to celebrate with those who showed up with love. In the end, about 100 adults and 15 children joined us, the perfect balance of family and community.
Writing Vows for a Queer Wedding Ceremony
At first, we planned to write our vows separately, but that didn’t feel like us. One night, over tea and candlelight, we recorded a conversation about why we love each other, and those words became our vows. We read them back and forth during the ceremony, making it feel like the kind of conversation we’ve always shared: honest, grounded, and full of love.
Can you walk us through your wedding day?
We started the morning with a dip in the ocean before the kids woke up, a grounding way to begin the day. Later, our moms joined us as we got ready separately, meeting for our first look outside our home before heading to the venue just down the road.
Our ceremony began at 4 p.m., led by our dear friend and officiant, Liz, beneath a cedar arbor crafted by Jillian’s dad. Our daughter and nieces walked down the aisle to “Who You Love” before we followed, hand in hand. Our middle son carried the rings inside a copy of Atlas of the Heart.
Guests wrote intentions on watercolor paper and burned them in a cauldron as “The Story” played. It felt deeply symbolic, closing one chapter and opening another. The night ended in the best way: dancing with our loved ones to “You Are the Best Thing” and “Something to Talk About.”
Tell us about your custom wedding rings by Marisa Mason & Mischa Rutenberg
Jillian’s rings were created by Christine’s family friend and jeweler, Mischa Rutenberg in San Francisco, using an emerald-cut diamond that once belonged to Christine’s step-grandmother. Reset with two baguettes and paired with a replica of her grandmother’s diamond and emerald band, the design honors both family history and Jillian’s new role as a stepmother. The platinum setting was made durable for Jillian’s life as an athlete and surfer.
Christine’s rings were designed by Marisa Mason, a shop she’d introduced Jillian to early in their relationship. Jillian worked with them to create a salt and pepper diamond ring surrounded by small white diamonds, chosen for its symbolism of beauty in imperfection and strength through self-acceptance.
What moments stand out most when you look back on the day?
Watching our guests quietly write about love, community, and acceptance was incredibly moving. The speeches from Jillian’s dad and Christine’s mom were heartfelt, especially hearing Christine’s mom speak about Jillian as a stepmother. And walking hand in hand toward the burning cauldron while “This Girl is On Fire” played. That energy was unforgettable.
Were there any vendors who really went above and beyond?
Our photographer, Katie Kaizer, absolutely did. She took the time to get to know our family a year before the wedding, even doing a photo session with our kids and new puppy. She made us feel truly seen and celebrated.
Were there any family or personal traditions you wanted to include?
We decided to walk down the aisle together, something we hadn’t really seen before, because it felt true to how we entered this marriage: side by side, on our own terms. We also wanted the kids to be part of every moment. And keeping with Jillian’s family tradition, we invited a close friend, Sheyonce She She Fogo, Nantucket’s first drag queen, to perform at the reception. It was such an unforgettable surprise.
Photography Katie Kaizer Photography
Caterer Eat Fire Pizza
Ceremony Venue Liz and Jamie Feeley
DJ Billy Voss Events
Florist Allison Gayo
Hair Libby Hight
Makeup Paolina Beauty
Dress Boutique Poshmark
Dress Designer Jenny Yoo
Drag Queen Sheyonce She She Fogo
Officiant Liz Feeley
Rings Marisa Mason & Mischa Rutenberg
