26 Lesbian Wedding Ideas Borrowed From Real Queer Weddings
The very best queer wedding ideas don’t come from a mood board. They come from lovers who looked at a tradition, asked “does this fit us?”, and swapped it for something better. Every idea below happened at a real wedding we’ve featured over the years, with a link so you can see exactly how they pulled it off.
Take what fits, skip what doesn’t, and if you’re still at the big-picture stage, start with our guide to planning a queer wedding.
Lesbian wedding ideas for entrances, aisles and exits
The aisle walk is where a lot of couples first realize they get to write the rules. You don’t need one person waiting at the end. You don’t need an aisle at all. Our guide on how to walk down the aisle as a same-sex couple covers the formats. Here’s what that looks like in real life.
1. Arrive on two wheels
At their Byron Bay wedding fiesta, Marj rode in on a Harley Davidson covered in paper daisies, and Barb zoomed in on a flower-decorated moped. Two entrances, one shared moment, zero waiting at the altar.
2. Turn the processional into a parade
In Merrickville, Ontario, Emily and Dani’s guests walked with them to the ceremony space waving ribbons and blowing bubbles. Afterward the parade wedding kept going through the streets of town, with honks and cheers from people along the way.
3. Let guests blow bubbles down the aisle
Jen and Lindsey had bubbles down the aisle at their Catskills forest wedding, with a creek running beside the ceremony space and vows under a chuppah. Bubbles are cheap, venue-friendly and easier to clean up than confetti.
4. Take public transport to get married
Nicola and Laura skipped the expensive limo and rode the subway to their New York City Hall elopement. Cheaper, and about as New York as a wedding day gets.
5. Walk out to a wall of rainbow flags
When Kat and Jaq walked out of their ceremony at their Oregon forest camp wedding, guests waved rainbow flags while “Can’t Stop the Feeling” played. Hand out small flags with the programs and let your people do the rest.
6. End with a sparkler tunnel
Cara and Maren’s guests lined up outside with sparklers and gold pom-poms while Katy Perry’s “Firework” played, closing out their Snohomish fall wedding. Check your venue’s rules on sparklers before you buy a box of 200.
Captured by Mae Krell Photo
Wedding outfit ideas for two dresses, two suits or neither
Nobody needs to be ‘the bride in the dress’ (because someone expects it) and nobody needs to match. The lovers below wore exactly what they wanted, and changed when they felt like it. For more on dressing outside the suit or dress binary, read our interview on queer wedding fashion beyond the binary.
7. Give your guests a dress code with teeth
Maddie and Alyssa asked guests to wear all black to their Denver wedding. It turns every group photo into an editorial and takes the “what do I wear?” stress off your friends.
8. Plan a midnight outfit change
At Shauna and Gin’s Silver Lake wedding weekend, the afterparty look was a white sparkly catsuit from Harmonia NY, very ’70s Cher, revealed on the dance floor at midnight. An afterparty look is the easiest way to get a second outfit you love without choosing between them.
9. Wear three looks, or two tuxedos
At their Atlanta wedding, Lauren wore a princess-inspired ceremony gown, a bold red reception dress and a separate leaving look. Ashley had two custom tuxedos made by Mochee London and Connaisseur Paris. Different energy, same level of commitment.
10. Put sneakers on and ride the slide
Ann and Whitney laced up matching Nike sneakers and rode the library slide in lace gowns at their rooftop wedding at the MLK Library in Washington, D.C. Later they changed into a floral suit and a danceable dress. Comfortable shoes mean more dancing. That’s science.
11. Embroider your story onto your suits
Steph and Marita’s suits for LesFest, their Otways farm festival wedding, carried embroidery that told their story: tents and mountains for hiking, flowers from the farm, the black cockatoos they always hear overhead, and pasta, because a pasta maker was the first thing they bought together.
12. Stitch a flag into your veil
McKenna wore a custom embroidered veil inspired by the lesbian flag at her and Jenna’s Minneapolis wedding. A subtle nod you’ll see in every photo, forever.
Photography by Ali Miller Photography
Lesbian wedding ceremony ideas that feel like yours
Legally, the bit that marries you is short. The rest of the ceremony is yours to shape. Start with our guide to writing your own wedding vows, pull a reading from our list of LGBTQ+ ceremony readings, then add a ritual that means something.
13. Tie a handfasting cord you made yourselves
Kiernan and Ryn made their own handfasting cord for their Red Rock Canyon wedding, using materials that matched their style. They tied three knots: one for Ryn’s love for Kiernan, one for Kiernan’s love for Ryn, and one for their love for their son.
14. Lock your vows inside a locket
Jenna and McKenna hole punched their handwritten vows and placed them inside lockets engraved with their new last initial. Now each of them carries a piece of the other’s words. It’s a unity ritual you can wear every day.
15. Honor culture and Country
Paige and Sam, two queer Aboriginal women, closed their ceremony with a First Nations smoking ceremony led by Layne Brown. For them it signified clarity, cleansing and moving forward into their future together.
16. Burn your intentions
At their Nantucket island wedding, Christine and Jillian had guests write intentions on watercolor paper and burn them in a cauldron while “The Story” played. It gets everyone involved without anyone having to give a speech.
17. Hold the ceremony in both your languages
Babs and Marce made sure their ceremony flowed naturally between English and Spanish at their San Miguel de Allende wedding weekend. If your families speak different languages, a bilingual ceremony means nobody is sitting through the most important part waiting for a translation.
18. Reveal your new last name
Ray and Rana had guests guess their new last name at their hens night, then played those guesses before their man of honor and maid of honor revealed the real one at their Hunter Valley wedding. Suspense, laughs and a built-in announcement.
Want a celebrant who’s already done these rituals a hundred times? Browse our inclusive celebrants and officiants.
Photography by Kyra Boyer
Food and drink ideas guests will talk about for years
Guests forget the centerpieces. But, they always remember what they ate and drank.
19. Swap the champagne toast for soju
Maddie and Alyssa toasted with Korean soju shots instead of champagne, fed everyone from a taco truck, then brought out late night McDonald’s and a double barrel soft serve machine with a full table of toppings.
20. Send in the beverage burros
Koley and Julie had Drink Donkeys, aka beverage burros, greet guests during cocktail hour at their Colorado wedding, alongside signature cocktails named after their three pets. Sarah and Iryelis did the pet cocktail thing too, with Penny’s Potion and Elliot’s Elixir named after their cats.
21. Skip cake if you don’t like cake
Neither Charis nor Amy liked cake, so they chose a cheese wheel cake for their Old Broadwater Farm wedding in Perth and ate it for weeks afterward. Lizzie and Abbey went with a Pittsburgh cookie table, complete with Oreos as a nod to Abbey’s favorite treat and Lizzie’s proposal, at their Pond Oaks mountain wedding.
22. Bring in a dessert cart with a twist
Marilyn and Shasta brought in a Dippin’ Dots cart at their black and white wedding in Chehalis, and had custom cups made with their dachshund’s face on them.
Captured by Katelyn Servedio
Reception entertainment ideas beyond the first dance
The first dance, the bouquet toss and the garter are all optional. Here’s what real couples did instead. If you need a band or an entertainer, check the entertainment section of our directory.
23. Do a first DJ set
Instead of a first dance, Steph and Marita played a “first DJ set” at LesFest. Nobody had to learn choreography.
24. Teach everyone your first dance
Barb and Marj performed a choreographed bachata first dance, then taught all their guests the basic steps so everyone could join in. Sophie and Sheranda took a different route, dancing to Minnie Riperton’s “Lovin’ You” with a dry ice effect that made it look like they were dancing on a cloud at their UMass Club wedding in Boston.
25. Rethink the bouquet toss
At Tony and Rain’s garden party wedding in Glen Mills, Rain tossed a LEGO bouquet, and instead of a garter moment, Tony pulled a fuggler wearing a garter from under Rain’s dress. They also booked an aura photobooth. Over at their Dye House wedding in Providence, Sarah and Iryelis had a sword fight using flowers during their first look, and their brothers welcomed them back with bubble guns.
Oh, and maybe book a performer. Christine and Jillian’s night ended with drag performer Sheyonce She She Fogo, described as Nantucket’s first drag queen. Kat and Jaq had lion dancers move around the tables revealing scrolls with wedding blessings.
Photography by Rhode Tripper Photography
Small and DIY wedding ideas with big personality
Small budget, small guest list – it doesn’t need to mean no or low impact. If you’re keeping numbers tight, our guide to planning a micro wedding is a good next read.
26. Handwrite something for every guest
Sarah and Iryelis wrote handwritten letters to every guest and left them at their place settings. Kailee and Kerri made a seating chart with handwritten letters for each guest, using meaningful places from their relationship instead of table numbers, at their rainy Jackson Manor wedding. Koley and Julie handwrote every guest’s name on a river rock for seating.
A few more small touches worth stealing:
- Grow, sew and thrift. Emily and Dani grew their own flowers, sewed their signs and thrifted all their decor.
- Buy flowers the day before. Kailee and Kerri picked flowers at Pike Place Market and arranged them into bud vases and bouquets themselves.
- Make your own lighting. Cara made ceramic luminaries that lit the stairs and the tables.
- Add a keepsake station. Charlotte and Jess had a permanent bracelet station and engraved thrifted glassware at their snowy Telluride wedding.
- Go DIY on the big stuff. Barb and Marj made their own ceiling decorations, signs, floral elements from home-grown flowers, a photo walk, a drinks area and their table styling.
Captured by Kiki Creates
How to choose the right ideas for your wedding
Twenty-six ideas is a lot. Don’t try to do all of them. This might just help to narrow it down:
- Pick three words for the feel you want. Loud, cozy, silly, formal. Then drop every idea that doesn’t match.
- Choose one thing per category that means something. One entrance idea, one ritual, one food moment. Meaning beats volume.
- Price it early. Drink donkeys, lion dancers and dessert carts cost money. Bubbles and handwritten notes cost time. Put both in your budget, and sign up for our free wedding planning templates to keep track.
- Check with your venue. Sparklers, fire, bubbles and food trucks all come with venue rules. Ask before you buy.
- Hand it off. Every idea above needs someone to run it on the day. Give each one an owner who isn’t either of you.
| Idea | Cost | Effort | Best for |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bubbles or rainbow flags | Low | Low | Any size, outdoor ceremonies |
| Guest dress code | Free | Low | Couples who love a big group photo |
| Handfasting or vow lockets | Low | Medium | Couples who want a ritual with meaning |
| Last name reveal | Free | Medium | Couples changing or combining names |
| Signature pet cocktails | Low | Low | Anyone with a pet they’re obsessed with |
| Food truck or dessert cart | Medium | Low | Relaxed receptions |
| First DJ set or taught first dance | Low | Medium | Couples who hate being watched |
| Handwritten guest letters | Low | High | Small guest lists |
| Drag or lion dance performers | Medium to high | Low | Big parties and cultural celebrations |
Photography by Lauren Wild Creative
Real couples who did it their way
Steph and Marita, Otways, Victoria. They started with a bare paddock and built a tiny festival village from scratch, then named the whole thing LesFest. Their embroidered suits told the story of their relationship, down to the pasta.
Barb and Marj, Byron Bay, New South Wales. Almost everything at their wedding was DIY. Their florist, Georgie from The Flowerista, blended flowers from Marj’s mom’s garden with local waratahs.
Emily and Dani, Merrickville, Ontario. A close friend opened the ceremony before Emily’s dad married them, and the night ended at Maple & Rose with a bonfire, s’mores and an ice cream bar.
Kat and Jaq, Vernonia, Oregon. They hung red Chinese lanterns, guests waved rainbow flags as they walked out, and one of them wore a red dress by Zac Posen.
01.
How do you make a lesbian wedding unique?
Start with your relationship, not Pinterest. Look at your inside jokes, your pets, your cultures and the first thing you bought together, then build one or two moments around them. Steph and Marita put a pasta maker on their suits. That’s the level of specific you’re after.
02.
Who walks down the aisle at a lesbian wedding?
Whoever wants to. You can walk one after the other, walk together, use two aisles, or skip the aisle entirely. Our guide on how to walk down the aisle as a same-sex couple breaks down each option.
03.
What do you wear to a lesbian wedding as the couple?
Anything. Two dresses, two suits, one of each, a jumpsuit, a catsuit or a floral suit and sneakers. Couples in our stories have worn three looks in one night, embroidered custom suits and matching Nike sneakers. Pick what you’ll feel most like yourself in.
04.
Do you need a first dance or a bouquet toss?
No. Every reception tradition is optional. Couples have swapped the first dance for a DJ set or a group dance lesson, and swapped the bouquet toss for a LEGO bouquet or a flower sword fight.
05.
What are cheap lesbian wedding ideas?
Bubbles down the aisle, rainbow flags for the exit, handwritten seating charts, flowers from a market or your own garden, and a guest dress code all cost very little. Pizza worked just fine for Kiernan and Ryn, who picked up pizza from Sauced on Paseo for everyone.
