A Woodstock Restaurant Wedding with a Vegas Secret, a Steel Drum Band, and Late Night Mozzarella Sticks
Claire (she/her) and Eliza (she/her) grew up on opposite sides of the state line, spent summers at the same camp in the Catskill Mountains as kids, and somehow never crossed paths until they were both living there as adults. Same job title. Shared office. Shared housing. It took a matter of weeks.
Four years later, they got married 55 guests deep at a restaurant in Woodstock, New York, with family-style steak and pasta, an Elvis drag performance, a group dance to a steel drum cover of “Brown Eyed Girl,” and pizza delivered at the end of the night. They also, quietly, had already eloped in Las Vegas six months prior, because sometimes you want the intimate moment to yourselves before you hand it over to a party.
How Two Camp Directors from the Catskills Fell in Love
Eliza is from northern New Jersey and Claire is from southern New York. We both grew up going to the same summer camp in the Catskill Mountains, but never crossed paths as campers. As adults, we both ended up working and living at camp year round. Claire was a camp director for the overnight teen program and Eliza was a camp director for the overnight youth program. We had the same job, we shared an office, and we were roommates. It was only a matter of weeks before we inevitably started falling in love. A classic lesbian u-haul story!
Four years later, we still live at camp. We’ve both changed jobs a couple of times and no longer get to work together or share an office, but we love our bucolic little life up in the mountains. We spend most of our time hanging out with our dogs, going to concerts, traveling, being outside, and enjoying each other’s company.
Why They Eloped in Vegas First – and Then Threw a Party
Honestly, the whole process felt smooth for the most part. Our biggest external challenge was deciding on the size of our guest list and where we wanted to get married. We also struggled to decide on a budget and what level of extravagance felt appropriate. Our priority was guest experience and guest convenience. We didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to travel far, especially for a casual wedding.
We ended up landing in the middle of all of our options and chose a mid-size list of around 55 people, stayed local to us, and focused our finances on food, alcohol, and music.
Our biggest internal challenge was managing our social anxiety and the vulnerability that comes with pouring your heart out to your person in front of a crowd. We combated this by secretly eloping in Vegas six months before our wedding celebration. This felt like a great compromise and allowed us to have that intimate moment to ourselves while also getting to party and celebrate with our loved ones.
Why the Event Manager Mattered as Much as the Menu
Once we knew we didn’t want to exceed 60 guests, that made it fairly simple. Because food was so important to us, the obvious choice was a restaurant venue. We emailed a few restaurants we love in Woodstock, but actually ended up only meeting with one in person.
We are not super picky when it comes to aesthetics, and the restaurant we chose, Cucina in Woodstock, focuses on well-sourced ingredients and offers family-style dining, which was really important to us. The restaurant’s event manager is gay, and it was important to us to support businesses that align with who we are and what we value.
Wedding Budget Advice That Actually Makes Sense
Social media can be really deceiving, and a lot of the wedding content that pops up from influencers and celebrities is likely not what is in the average person’s budget. Most people are only going to reflect on how much fun they had dancing and how happy they felt for the people getting married. Once you can focus in on that, the rest of the pieces feel easy to navigate.
Pick a couple of elements that matter most to you and know what you are willing to spend more on, both in time and money. For us, food, photography, and aiming for local and ethical vendors was what we chose to put a larger proportion of our budget and energy into.
In terms of staying organized, Google Sheets was our best friend. From guest list and addresses to vendor costs, we stored it all in one document. And don’t forget to build vendor gratuity into your budget. They work incredibly hard.
How Dancing With Her Led Them to Their Photographer
We actually found all of our potential photographers through Dancing With Her’s Instagram! We had been following for years and always knew we would look here for inspiration and vendors.
We loved all the photographers we met with and ultimately chose ours because she was geographically closest to us, which felt like the most sustainable and ethical choice. We absolutely loved Marilyn Lamanna and had a great experience. We did an engagement shoot with her as well, which was a great way to get to know her and get comfortable in front of the camera.
We were looking for someone whose values aligned with ours, who had a more organic and candid feel to her work, and who was ideally queer. We also really wanted a photography style where you could hang the photo on a wall and see it as art first and a wedding photo second. All of Marilyn’s photos feel like art pieces and have so much movement to them. We also really valued vendors who had price transparency on their website, and Marilyn does. We cannot recommend her enough!
The Full Wedding Day: Rain, Periods, Elvis, and Pizza at Midnight
We shared a big Airbnb with a bunch of our friends for the weekend, which was so fun. We got to wake up together on the morning of our wedding and have coffee with our pals. Then we headed to meet up with our moms and sisters and had a relaxing morning of hair and makeup with Celeste Von Damon. Our photographer met us at the makeup location and we did some photos there. Then we headed back to the Airbnb and got dressed together while she took some candids.
After that, we headed to the restaurant with our friends for a few more photos, and then it was showtime. We sat together at the restaurant bar and relaxed until our guests arrived. It was a gloomy, rainy day, which we took as a good omen. We also both got our periods, which we decided was extra luck.
We had our ceremony, officiated by one of our very best friends, and it was perfect. After that, we just enjoyed the party. We didn’t do a sweetheart table at dinner and instead opted to sit with friends, which we definitely recommend. During dancing, Claire surprised Eliza with an Elvis drag performance to “All Shook Up.” We ended the night chatting and listening to music at the Airbnb with our friends. The day and whole weekend went so fast and was such a blur full of love.
What Was on the Menu (Including the Late Night Snacks You Need to Book)
We did a classic cocktail hour with passed hors d’oeuvres. For dinner, family-style dining so each table got to try everything. Kale salad, steak, chicken, pasta, potatoes, carrots, beets, all with locally sourced ingredients and really interesting flavor combinations.
Our cakes and desserts were from Overlook Bakery, a local Woodstock bakery whose values align with ours, and who is actually owned by the family of one of our former campers, so it felt perfect. Towards the end of the night, we had a local pizza place deliver late night snacks: fries, garlic knots, and mozzarella sticks. 10/10, do not skip the late night snacks!
On Rethinking Every Tradition and Making the Day Entirely Theirs
A lot of the non-traditional choices we made felt super organic and were all based on what felt more true to us as a couple. We spent the night before together and got ready together, both for our wedding celebration and our Vegas elopement. We even had each other vibe-check our vows instead of having a friend do it.
We decided early on that we wanted to spend the weekend soaking up time with our people. We figured, we live alone and get to spend so much time together already, so why not focus on our friends and family during the wedding weekend. It was so nice to be able to spend the day together calming each other’s nerves.
We chose to have our processional be an ode to both sets of our parents. We’re very lucky to both have parents who love each other and have been married for many years. So we had our parents walk down the aisle first, then our siblings and their partners, and then we walked each other in. We always knew we weren’t going to have wedding parties, so this felt like a great alternative.
For honoring our friends, some made speeches, some were ushers, some sang.
We also chose not to do father-daughter dances. Instead, we did a family dance. Eliza’s family is Trinidadian and loves steel drum bands, and Claire’s family loves Van Morrison, so we had our parents, siblings, partners, and ourselves all do a candid group dance to a steel drum cover of “Brown Eyed Girl.” It was so fun and such a great way to get the party energy up.
At the end of the day, the cool part about it being your own wedding is that you can do whatever you want.
The Vendors Who Made It Happen
Every single one of them went above and beyond. We didn’t hire a planner or coordinator, and our vendors made that feel so easy. In particular, the event manager at Cucina was incredible. We adored working with him, and he essentially acted as a day-of coordinator. He was so flexible with the menu and bar options, so easy to work with, and let us bring our vision to life.
Captured by Marilyn Lamanna Photography
Cake & Desserts Overlook Bakery
DJ Pure Entertainment 845
Florist Woodstock Floral Design
Hair & Makeup Celeste Von Damon
Outfits Mirto
Stationery Zazzle
Venue & Catering Cucina, Woodstock NY
