Queer Golden Gate Bridge Elopement in San Francisco

When Hilary (she/her) & Jess (she/her) eventually eloped in San Francisco, it wasn’t about putting on a show. It was about grounding themselves in everything they’d built together. From a barefoot living room elopement to wedding portraits in front of the Golden Gate Bridge, this story is layered with meaning, joy and queer magic.

How did you two first meet?

We matched on an app in 2019, but the timing wasn’t right. Jess was working back-to-back public defender trials and I was fresh out of a divorce and starting my job as an Assistant U.S. Attorney. Fast forward to January 2020, Jess texted me out of the blue saying she made a mistake not taking me on a date. I told her to take me somewhere nice – and our first date turned into an 11-hour marathon through Miami. We went from brunch to dinner to her apartment pool, and didn’t stop talking once.

When did things start to get serious?

Basically right after. A few weeks later, lockdown hit. Jess came over with a few leggings and her cats, planning to stay for two weeks. That turned into a full-blown U-Haul. Eventually she moved in permanently. We baked bread, did home workouts, and got a puppy. The world felt chaotic, but inside our little bubble, we were building something really solid.

What challenges shaped your connection?

The pandemic was just one part. That summer, the U.S. was reckoning with racism in a more visible way. As a Black woman, it was a deeply painful time for me. Jess really showed up. She led a Black Lives Matter march for Miami public defenders, challenged people in her life, and held space when I couldn’t get out of bed.

That’s when I knew she was my person.

Can you tell us about your proposals?

Jess went first. She planned a full scavenger hunt across Miami with stops at our first date spot, our favourite restaurant, and other meaningful locations. At each stop, someone important to me joined the journey. At the end, she was waiting in white by the water and proposed. Afterward, she threw a surprise party with 65 friends and family.

I proposed a few months later in Chicago. Jess lost her dad in 2017, and I planned my proposal at the theatre he used to run. I got her on stage under the lights of a new August Wilson play – her dad’s favourite – and asked her to marry me. We took shots of Jameson afterward in his honour.

What led you two to San Francisco?

After we got engaged, Jess landed a tech job in San Francisco and we decided to move. I had never been to SF before, but we packed up the car and drove cross-country. When we got there, everything shifted. We found our queer community for the first time, a crew of more than 20 queer women and non-binary friends who celebrated us fully. We both started feeling more like ourselves. It was the first time our queerness wasn’t something to explain or defend. It just was.

Tell us about your elopement at the Golden Gate Bridge.

We planned to elope at the Bluff of Battery Park, right in front of the Golden Gate Bridge. But it poured all day. So, we got married barefoot in our living room on New Year’s Eve with just an officiant, a witness and our photographer.

We picked up flowers from Trader Joe’s, had champagne, and went to a queer party that night. We whispered to each other that it was our reception.

Honestly, it was perfect.

What rituals or traditions have become part of your life together?

We get dim sum every Sunday night. It’s become this grounding ritual we do as a little family. We also go to the same queer women’s party once a month, the same one we went to the night we eloped. It’s our way of staying connected to the community that welcomed us.

What was it like to capture your wedding portraits with the Golden Gate Bridge as your backdrop?

We love working with photographers. We’ve had shoots for our anniversary, both proposals, our elopement, and our big celebration. The Golden Gate portraits were especially meaningful because we didn’t get to have the ceremony there. Coming back in our wedding gowns and taking time to be in that space felt like reclaiming it.

We were a little awkward at first, but it ended up being such a joyful experience.

Photography by Weddings and Other Stories