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Lyndsey & Vanessa

Lyndsey & Vanessa

Michelle Sobel Photography lesbian gay same-sex couple wedding California USA Dancing With Her online directory magazine

Lyndsey proposed first on a beach in Malibu at sunset. She had candles and pictures from throughout their relationship on the beach and light up letters that said, “Marry Me.” She proposed with the ring that Vanessa’s dad proposed to her mom with, and her sister was hiding behind a rock nearby with the real engagement ring. Then she told Vanessa that she wanted her to propose back that weekend (she proposed on a Friday) so that they could share the news together on Monday! Luckily Vanessa had already bought a ring and proposed back the next day on a cliff in Palos Verdes near their favorite tide pools. This cliff is now a special place for us, and we often have picnics here to celebrate significant life events!

 They were engaged for a little over a year and a half.

“We really wanted this event to be an extension of our home. Welcoming, quirky, fun, warm, and loving. We drew inspiration from the slate blue hues in our living room and coincidentally came across the perfect blue while bridesmaids dress shopping.

Vanessa honestly had no idea what to wear, so she was pretty open to anything. She went to BHLDN by herself with thoughts of a mermaid dress. But her pear-shaped body (and love of cookies) said otherwise. She ultimately gave full control to the stylist and asked her what would fit her body. The stylist suggested a two-piece dress that accentuated all the right curves and hid the uncomfortable areas. 

Lyndsey decided on a classic dress that would be timeless for years to come.

We also tried to incorporate as many personal touches as possible. The white wine we served (Joel Gott Sauvignon Blanc) was the wine we drank together on our first date. The bridesmen’s ties were a constellation pattern, and the ring bearer’s bow tie had astronauts on it. Which tied into Lyndsey’s career as an Aerospace Engineer and her love of space. 

The coffee beans were from our favorite coffee shop, The Boy & The Bear. That imported Colombian coffee and paid homage to Vanessa’s Colombian heritage. Both of our dads have passed away, so we included something special of each of theirs in the day. We had Vanessa’s dad’s hat sitting on the couch next to her mom, and the blue slate agate stones at our welcome table were from Lyndsey’s dad’s home. 

We had a blanket from our engagement shoot and a blanket that Lyndsey’s aunt knitted for us on the couches for people to use. Also, we chose to serve all of our favorite food, like Mac and Cheese balls with homemade ranch. Lyndsey’s all-time favorite, a deconstructed California roll, an Asian noodle dish, and street tacos. 

Vanessa’s best friend’s mom wrote our entire ceremony (we are very close to their family), and her best friend’s dad was our officiant.

Lyndsey’s best friend’s mom did the reading. We asked her to choose a reading that signified love to her and not to share it with us before the ceremony. She decided on “Blessing of the Hands,” and it was perfect! 

We also had our dog, Maddie, be a flower girl.

We loved the idea of having polaroids from the day. So we got a big picture frame and removed the glass and backing off of it. Stapled some on some wire, and Vanessa made a sign that said “snap it, shake it, sign it, hang it” and voila! The cookie wall was V’s idea, but our caterer loved it and made the wall for us so that they could use it for future events.

Our advice to other couples planning their wedding day is to go with your gut and not have this wedding for anyone else but yourself. Don’t get caught up in the people not making an effort to wish you well or attend, and don’t go too far up your ass about different shades of blue.


Photography by Michelle Sobel

Catering Critic’s Choice Catering
Ceremony & Reception Venue The SmogShoppe
Celebrant Mike Snyder (Family friend)
Entertainment Vox DJs
Engagement Rings Robbins Brothers
Florist Karen Sartori Florals
Furniture Hire La Piñata Party Rentals
Gowns BHLDN
H&MU Amy Dee Artistry
Stationery Minted

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Dancing With Her is created on the beautiful land of the Bundjalung Nation. We acknowledge that we have benefited from the colonialism which dispossessed the Bundjalung People of their land and culture, and pay our respects to Bundjalung elders, past, present and emerging. We acknowledge sovereignty was never ceded. The land we live and work on is Aboriginal Land.

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