Two Proposals, Cold Sparklers, and a Riviera Maya Queer Wedding
Ashley (she/her) and Shannon (she/her) were already secretly married when they welcomed their favorite people to UNICO 20°87° for their Riviera Maya queer wedding in Mexico. A linen welcome sign let guests in on the surprise as they arrived at the ceremony. Expect two proposals, a guest list built on three ground rules, a $249 Azazie gown, and cold sparklers on the dance floor.
A Tinder swipe, two surprise proposals, and a secret elopement
Our love story began in the fall of 2021 with what we thought would be a simple swipe on Tinder, but it instantly became something more. Ashley and I hit it off right away, deleted the app almost immediately, and planned a brunch date over mimosas. What was supposed to be a quick meet-up turned into an all-day adventure. Brunch led to candle shopping, a trip through a department store, and eventually dinner. It felt less like a first date and more like the beginning of something that had been waiting for us.
From that day on, our time together felt like one long, unfolding date. We explored Curaçao, Mexico, Puerto Rico, Key West, Las Vegas, Oahu, Kona, the mountains of Asheville, Charleston, Phoenix, and New York. Every destination added another chapter, another inside joke, another moment that made us feel even more like home to each other.
On Halloween, my favorite holiday, Ashley planned a spooky photoshoot at the North Carolina Art Museum. The dreary weather couldn’t dim the magic of the moment. Surrounded by my brother, sister, a close friend, and my maid of honor on FaceTime, Ashley surprised me with a proposal. I, of course, said yes. The timing was perfect, right before my birthday and our anniversary trip to an all-inclusive resort in Riviera Maya.
What Ashley didn’t know was that I had planned a proposal of my own. After nine days of celebrating our engagement, a birthday, and the joy of everything ahead of us, I led Ashley to a gazebo at sunset after a rainy afternoon, under the guise of heading to dinner. There, I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. Ashley, of course, said yes right back.
As we explored wedding venues, we found ourselves overwhelmed by choices and mindful of the shifting political climate following the presidential election. We decided to honor what mattered most: our commitment to each other. On our anniversary, we quietly eloped at the North Carolina Art Museum, the place where our engagement first began. With the support of incredible LGBTQ+-affirming vendors who volunteered their services, we said “I do” on another perfectly rainy day.
We kept our marriage to ourselves as we prepared for our destination wedding in Mexico. By then, we had already been married for 11 months, which made the day even sweeter. All the nerves were gone, replaced by gratitude and a deeper sense of peace.
Destination wedding planning with a DIY girl and a true Virgo
One of our biggest challenges was finding the balance between our “dream details” and our “dream budget.” I’m very much a DIY girl. I love creating custom moments and meaningful touches, especially when I can do it at a fraction of the cost. But with a destination wedding, bringing projects and materials across borders just isn’t easy.
Ashley, on the other hand, is a true Virgo: detail-oriented, sentimental, and someone who finds a lot of meaning in the small but significant elements that make a wedding feel magical. Often the very details that come with a higher price tag.
Finding a middle ground between my resourcefulness and Ashley’s love of refined, purposeful details wasn’t always simple. Thankfully we had an amazing premarital counselor that kept us level-headed and gave us amazing tools at communicating our wants. Over time, we learned how to compromise in ways that made the wedding feel authentically “us.” And we allowed ourselves a few “YOLO” splurges, like surprise cold sparklers, that brought the kind of joy you can only feel once in a lifetime.
Real life shaped things too. I started a doctoral program two months before the wedding, and Ashley was launching her business as a Wedding and Events Content Creator, Lovely Content. Tuition payments and the realities of building a new business were plenty of motivation to stay grounded financially, though wedding budgets have a way of stretching anyway.
Choosing UNICO 20°87° for an adults-only Riviera Maya queer wedding
Ashley was the one who first discovered UNICO 20°87°. When we began considering a destination wedding, our first thought was the resort where we got engaged. But as we talked more, we realized we hoped to give our family and friends an unforgettable, luxury experience, with the kind of romantic backdrop that feels straight out of a novel.
In classic Virgo fashion, Ashley researched almost every resort in Riviera Maya. That’s when we learned that UNICO offered a complimentary wedding package for up to 32 guests, including tables, chairs, and dinner. It supported the intimate guest count we envisioned. Ashley also connected with Facebook groups of couples who had married there and found an incredible travel agent (DreamTeamCLT) specializing in destination weddings.
UNICO offers site visits for couples planning to marry there, so around Ashley’s birthday, we went to see it for ourselves. Within hours of arriving, before our bags were even fully unpacked, we knew: this was the place.
We tasted the dinner menu and cake options, spent mornings at water aerobics, danced the night away in the resort lounge, and soaked in the atmosphere we hoped our friends and family would enjoy. And with the resort being adults-only, we knew our guests could truly relax and celebrate with us, worry-free. It was the perfect place to begin (well, continue) our forever.
Finding a queer wedding photographer who honors melanated skin tones
Choosing our photographer and videographer was one of the most intentional parts of our entire wedding process. As Black queer women, we knew from the beginning that we needed vendors who understood representation, not just in identity, but in artistry. It was essential that whoever we chose could properly light, capture, and honor melanated skin tones, and that we felt affirmed, safe, and genuinely seen in front of their camera.
For photography, Christian (now House of Willingham) was an immediate “yes.” Ashley found Christian early in our search for engagement photos. Her portfolio included queer couples, couples of color, and a level of authenticity and celebration that resonated with us deeply. When we met Christian, the connection was instant. When Ashley and I each individually lost over 130 pounds (not for the wedding) during the planning, she reshot our engagement session so the photos reflected who we were by the time we said “I do.” That level of care speaks to who she is.
Christian has become more than a photographer; she’s a friend. She encouraged Ashley to start her wedding content creation business, and Ashley now works alongside her on Christian’s visual team.
Our videographers, Gallardo Films, were also found by Ashley (shocking, we know). She discovered them on Instagram after seeing an Indian wedding they filmed. We loved that their portfolio included couples across a wide range of skin tones, and everyone was captured beautifully. On our wedding day, they took care of us like family. Our videographer helped us with our shoes, carried bouquets, calmed nerves, and still managed to film everything with the artistry of a Sundance-worthy documentary. When we received our teaser video, we both cried.
Micro luxury in earth tones, with DIY welcome bags and LED candles
The inspiration behind our wedding was what we lovingly called “micro luxury in earth tones.” It captured exactly what we envisioned: an intimate celebration with elevated details, grounded in warm, natural colors that felt timeless and romantic. We chose a color palette of terracotta/rust paired with emerald and olive greens, tones that worked beautifully with the tropical setting.
Because our guest list was intentionally intimate, we decided to skip traditional bridal parties and instead make our guests feel like they were part of the wedding party themselves. We gave them a color palette and a few inspiration ideas for their look, and they absolutely delivered.
A lot of our inspiration also came from seeing other beautiful Black queer couples online. Representation mattered, and seeing ourselves reflected in others’ celebrations helped shape our own.
When it came to décor, we leaned into minimalism. The landscape itself was our backdrop. Ashley saved every TikTok video that remotely aligned with our vision, while I carefully tracked the cost of each idea and figured out the most budget-friendly way to bring it to life.
Our biggest DIY was the welcome bags. We wanted something cute and memorable without the typical “full-names-on-everything” wedding merch. So we designed simple, stylish bags with a palm tree, our initials, and our destination. Inside, we filled them with trip essentials: Liquid I.V., tumblers, Tylenol, makeup wipes, waterproof phone cases, and other practical goodies our guests would actually use.
We also ordered a linen welcome sign featuring a photo from our elopement, which served as a subtle way to share our “we’ve actually been married for 11 months” surprise as guests entered the ceremony. We assembled the sign holder ourselves and added ribbon accents to tie it into the palette. We created our LED candle and votive arrangements as well, which added a soft, romantic glow without the hassle of real flames.
A $249 Azazie wedding dress and a cathedral-length mantilla veil
The road to my wedding gown was… honestly, a nightmare.
I originally bought a gown off the rack, the Moriah by Rebecca Ingram, and I truly loved it at the time. But before the wedding, I lost 134 lbs, with about 45 lbs of that happening after buying the dress in a bridal size 22. By the time I tried it on again, it was nearly two to three sizes too big, and the alterations needed were almost as expensive as buying a whole new gown. My second choice, the Jace by Maggie Sottero, went up in price by over $1,000 thanks to tariff increases. So here I am, selling a never-worn Moriah on StillWhite, eBay, and Facebook Marketplace. If you see a size 22 Moriah floating around… feel free to buy it!
Knowing I needed something I felt confident in, I bought a reception dress for under $100 from Vow’d Weddings, and thank goodness I did, because I danced the entire night away in it and genuinely loved it. The day before the wedding, my informal maid of honor and I added fringe trim to it, something I had been envisioning for weeks. It was chaotic in the sweetest way.
For the ceremony, I took a leap of faith and ordered a gown from Azazie, the Diana, for under $250. The measurements listed were actually smaller than my most recent measurements. But I took the gamble anyway. When it arrived, literally as I was leaving for the airport, I tore open the box and tried it on, risking missing my flight. Totally worth it. It fit, and I absolutely loved it. On the wedding day it was even a bit big at the bottom, but since it was a two-piece gown, I just pulled it slightly higher under my corset and the fit was perfect without any alterations. My brother, my informal man of honor, skates, and after years of lacing skates he had no trouble getting my corset tied flawlessly.
The sweetest surprise was that the designer of the dress reached out to me personally to say she felt like the dress was made for me. I had no idea a $249 gown could make me feel so beautiful, but it turned out to be the best “mistake correction” I ever made.
I wore a cathedral-length mantilla veil for the ceremony. I’ve always loved the Holy Mother aesthetic, and my mom wore a similar veil when she married my dad 46 years ago. She no longer had hers, so choosing a mantilla felt like my own little tribute to her. For the reception, I switched to the short veil I wore at our elopement.
Ashley: I only went to two wedding dress shops, and strangely enough, the very first dress I tried on at the second shop was the one. But being me, I didn’t recognize it as a “yes” right away, so, of course, I went back just to be sure. I did enjoy going with my girls the first time, but I’m so glad I went back on my own to make the final decision. Shannon and I also ended up wearing shoes that looked pretty similar, which is kind of funny since we have differing styles.
A rainy resort wedding day with a first look and a flower grandma
Staying at a resort on our wedding day took a lot of pressure off for us two ADHD girlies. We went to bed together the night before, like we always do. The next morning, we said our goodbyes (with only a sliding partition between us in our glorious king suite) and went about our separate prep routines.
Ashley headed off to get her hair done and even had time to grab breakfast with her dad. Bonus: some early guests caught a glimpse of her in all her PJ glory before her transformation. I had a calm start, curling my own hair and last-minute transcribing my vows into my vow book. With makeup complete and mimosas poured, it was a fairly calm morning, right up until I turned to see my father-in-law, who of course was already crying.
Both sides of the partition were soon buzzing with laughter, music, photographers, and videographers. The occasional “Where is she?!” kept us on our toes. Our coordinator came to break the news that, due to the rain, we needed to decide whether to move the ceremony indoors. With the forecast at 100% rain, we risked it but ultimately decided to move our reception indoors.
The plan was to have our first look on a scenic bridge, but Mother Nature had other plans: torrential downpour! We adjusted the location and proceeded anyway. Neither of us knew exactly what to expect from each other’s dresses, but the smiles and reactions were completely us.
We walked down the aisle separately, Ashley first, followed by me. Both of us walked alone for the first half, then were met by Ashley’s dad for Ashley and my brother for me. And we can’t forget our sweet grandma leading the way as our flower “grandma.” Best decision ever. Ashley later said that walking first so she could see me (her wife) was the absolute best part. Our tear ducts didn’t stand a chance.
We exchanged our vows against a backdrop of palm trees, the beach, and surprisingly clear skies, mirroring the vows we had made 11 months earlier, but this time adding new promises. After a kiss, we shared a champagne toast and a group photo with everyone before heading to the reception, where we danced the night away with the most amazing DJ, DJ Just Drew…who happens to be my brother, so yes, we may be a little biased.
Cold sparklers, happy tears, and vendors who went above and beyond
I managed to make it through most of the morning without crying, which is impressive for a chronic crier like me. But during our wedding portraits, Christian asked Ashley to whisper one thing she looked forward to in our marriage into my ear. I won’t be sharing her answer…but I immediately burst into tears, which is now immortalized in photos.
Each member of my informal bridal party gave me gifts tied to tradition: something old (Andrew), something new (Jessica), something borrowed (Tamika), and something blue (Denise). I cried through most of it.
One of the absolute highlights was our first dance as a married couple. Ashley dipped me, and the cold sparklers went off. Her look of surprise was priceless. And just when I thought I was done being surprised, she did it again at our bubble exit.
Honestly, all of our vendors went above and beyond. Our onsite coordinator, Osiris, calmly served as the go-between for Ashley and me when we had to switch the reception location due to rain. Our travel agents at DreamTeamCLT guided us through planning with Único and provided all of the catalogs needed for every vendor option. One of them, Anna, spent the most time with me, which meant keeping surprise invoices hidden from Ashley.
Ashley’s hairstylist, Jala of The Qween Effect, even steamed Ashley’s veil before the ceremony, unprompted. Our content creator, Madelyn, was the MVP. She and Ashley had met during a work shoot for House of Willingham, and just two weeks before our wedding, she volunteered to cover the event, hopped on a plane, and flew to Mexico. Our second shooter, Thomas, joined last minute when we realized Christian would essentially need a clone.
And Drew laced up my dress, ran between photographer, coordinator, brides, and venues, and was the literal start of the party. He played every song we didn’t even know we wanted to hear. We’re not sure if Drew offers “Man of Honor” packages, but if he does, it’s worth every penny.
Ashley: One of my favorite moments was the private first look with my dad and grandma. They are two of the most important people in my life. Each of them received a card and a gift, and seeing their reactions captured on camera was priceless. Another highlight was our first dance. We had taken lessons for weeks leading up to the wedding. Even with a few last-minute changes and a little misstep on my end, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Advice for couples planning a destination queer wedding
Start with clarity. Very early on, Ashley and I agreed that we didn’t want to go into debt for our wedding, especially since our “day” was really a week at an all-inclusive resort. We calculated the total cost of hosting our guests, plus the expense of bringing in outside vendors we considered non-negotiable. For us, two vendors were must-haves: our photographer Christian from North Carolina, and Gallardo Films, a videography team local to Riviera Maya. We also couldn’t imagine the day without our makeup artist from home, who had been with us for our engagement photos, our elopement, and Ashley’s bridal shower, so we made sure our budget included flying her in as well. Then we added a cushion for miscellaneous costs, created a full budget, divided it by the months left until the wedding, and saved that amount each month.
And we’ll be honest: we absolutely went over budget. Once you set your budget, add 20%.
We saved where we could. I travel often for work as a Clinical Research Associate, which earned me enough airline miles to fly many of our vendors, and ourselves, at little to no cost. My airline status also meant no luggage fees. We DIY’d what made sense: welcome tote bags, designs, bulk Black Friday purchases, candles, and linen welcome signs and holder that packed easily.
And yet… we might still be the worst people to ask about fully staying on budget, because I was determined to give Ashley the wedding she dreamed of, right down to the surprise cold sparklers. We also did a bachelorette yacht two days before our wedding, so we truly are not the advice givers for budgeting.
For the guest list, we started from the 32-guest package and agreed to keep the final count under 50. We set three ground rules:
- Each of us could invite one person the other hadn’t met. Just one. Ashley chose a close high school friend from Texas, and I chose my childhood friend from Pennsylvania. They both ended up being the life of the party and spent the whole day loving on both the brides.
- If we hadn’t seen someone in more than two years, and the reason wasn’t distance, they didn’t make the list. We wanted our day to be about our marriage, not a reunion.
- We asked ourselves which people we truly couldn’t imagine not being there.
We landed at 47 invitations, and our final count was around 36 guests. It was the perfect number.
At the end of the day, we believe in duality: Don’t go into debt for a wedding, but also remember that money comes back, and memories are forever. Finding that balance is the key.
Captured by House of Willingham
Officiant Mirage Weddings
DJ DJ Just Drew
Dress Boutique Lovely Bride
Dress Designer Azazie
Florist Tulipania
Hair Stylist The Qween Effect
Make Up Artist Amira
Signage Made & True
Stationery Urura Moments
Venue Unico 2087
Videographer Gallardo Films
