A Queer Wedding and a Billie Porter Tuxedo Dress

The Proposal.

We had casually proposed to each other several times over the course of our relationship- a conversation that looked a lot like this:

“Wanna get married?”

“Yeah, ok”

When I was ready to propose for real, I prepared three different vintage rings (because Jana is so indecisive that she described at least five different rings as her perfect ring) and brought Jana to one of our first date spots. When I popped the big Q, Jana teared up and said “You’re so extra,” which was her version of “yes.”

The Wedding Venue.

We searched for a venue for about two months before finding Lacuna. It was by far the most difficult part of wedding planning because we could not agree on anything, but once we saw the rooftop ceremony space lit up by the Chicago skyline, we knew it was our venue.

Wedding DIY Projects.

We DIY’ed so much stuff. From place cards to labels, to table numbers and bar signage, we have perfected the art of using a paper cutter and folding on the dotted lines.

Finding the Wedding Outfits. 

I (Miloni) had scheduled two dress appointments at different places on the same day and ended up finding a dress that I liked at my first appointment. However, the second dress shop had a $50 fee if I canceled my appointment. So, unwilling to be out $50, I went to it not expecting to find anything. I picked a few to try on and surprisingly experienced that “when you know, you know” moment with the second dress I tried on, and that’s the one I ended up with!

Before I (Jana) met Miloni, I always imagined Billie Porter’s Christian Siriano tuxedo dress as the only logical option for a wedding gown. Luckily, my family is very close with a seamstress who has been making outfits for my Aunties for decades.

The Wedding Day.

The day of the wedding was a blur. We both felt like we blinked, and it was over. Honestly, it was amazing to see this thing that we spent so much time and energy planning come together and have all of friends and family come to enjoy it with us.

Neither of us are very religious, but we knew we wanted to do something a little different and special. We chose to literally tie the knot in a Celtic tradition called handfasting, which to us signified us uniting our lives, hopes, and dreams.

Our favorite moments were definitely seeing our family and friends on the dance floor and being able to see everyone have fun and let loose. Jana’s favorite moment was watching Miloni’s kids bust out some break dancing and “the worm” on the dance floor.

Our photographer, Ashley, was a stand-out vendor. Our wedding was one of the best days of our lives, and to be able to look back at our amazing pictures and relive every moment is such a gift.

What is Marriage?

Marriage to us is knowing that there’s always someone who has your back and who is committed to growing with you. It’s having someone to do all the chores you hate doing. It’s keeping an ongoing list of all the inside jokes that have made us laugh the hardest. Mostly, it’s live laugh, loving through all the good times and bad.