Kiite and I met in 2014. I was looking for a job related to child care and had an interview where she was working. Once I saw her, I took the position. I started working in the classroom right next to hers. Our classrooms shared a window, so I spent 10% of my time working and 90% of my time looking through that window.
Maybe a bit more creepy than your typical love at first sight story, but heeey, it led to a wife and a baby on the way.
We got engaged on a rooftop in DC in May 2019 and then had our wedding scheduled for April 2020 until Covid canceled it…three times.
We ended up eloping in September of 2020 in California.
Talk to us about your decision to start a family. How did you go about the process? And how did you make decisions around things like who would carry?
The conversation around starting a family happened before we were engaged. More than anything, we’ve always wanted to be moms. We knew we wanted to be married before starting any fertility treatments to ensure we were covered under the law.
As you can imagine, LGBTQ+ couples don’t have the same luxuries as heterosexual couples in that way, so proof of marriage was crucial. Lovely, lovely covid was pushing off our wedding while simultaneously pushing off us starting our family.
Annie– Although I always knew I wanted to be a mom, I never had the desire to carry. So it worked out well that carrying was a dream of Kiite’s. I love that our baby gets to come from her body. I can’t think of anything that screams ‘magic’ more than that.
Tell us about the road to conception. Were there any challenges or setbacks along the way? Was it what you expected?
The road to conceiving was definitely not what we expected. We had naively thought that we’d have success right away. But, the single line on the pregnancy test screaming negative in your face never got easier. No matter how many months had passed. There’s nothing sweeter than seeing that positive pregnancy test, especially when it’s something you’ve fought so hard for.
How has the pregnancy been for you both? As a carrier and as the non-carrying parent?
Annie– It’s been amazing. But, I’m also doing the easiest part: sitting on the sidelines, watching the love of my life grow our new best friend. But you know you’ve got it good when the most challenging part of the job is rubbing bio oil on her belly and bringing home whatever food she’s craving.
Kiite– I just recently started to feel her move, and it’s a feeling like no other. Time is going too fast and not fast enough at the same time. I’ll tell you one thing: I wasn’t prepared for how tired she’d make me. I also know that won’t be stopping anytime soon. Or… ever. But it’s so damn worth it.
What are you looking forward to the most?
I think it depends on what stage we’re looking at. Of course, at first, we’ll be most excited to experience motherhood for the first time while getting to know our daughter and all she is and will become.
But, above all, we’re most excited about the feeling of family.
We have so much support surrounding us, but we both deal with heavy things within our born families. So we’re thankful for the new meaning of family: one that’s safe.
Photographer by Olive & Mint Photography