We met on a dating site in December 2018. Becca had been using the site for a few months, not seriously looking, and was new to LGBTQ+ dating. I had just ended a long-term relationship with my ex-husband, so I was also new to dating. Becca was initially skeptical of a date, she was starting a new business and was a bit exhausted with online dating, but she eventually agreed to meet me for coffee. We spent over two hours together for coffee, and she decided to see me again two nights later for dinner and the next night, we drove impromptu to San Antonio to look at Christmas lights together.
Our favorite memories together have to do with the spontaneity drive we took to San Antonio when we first started dating, as well as a trip we took together to San Diego later that spring. Both were spontaneously charming and allowed us to get to know one another. We also consider our wedding an incredible, magical day that turned out more perfect than we could imagine. When COVID got really isolating, we would also throw random parties for our son, including a Halloween party, Mardi Gras, and a birthday party (for no one and everyone) at all the wrong times, and I think those were the moments that sustained us.
What has been the biggest challenge you’ve had to overcome together?
Both of us have struggled with relationships and finding self-love. Being ourselves in relationships and feeling safe has been a huge theme for us. This seems pretty typical in our community, especially for people who have come out and are attempting to make relationships after years of living apart from their true selves. Our relationship has been sweet and spontaneous, but we have had to work hard together in our relationship to do a lot of repairs and reframing for ourselves.
Additionally, Becca struggled with a relationship with her parents that was strained by her sexuality and by us being together. While she was working on her relationship with her parents, her mother became very ill, and 3 1/2 months before our wedding, she died suddenly. It has been so hard for her to struggle with such a huge, complex loss. This loss has allowed us to make in-roads with our relationship with her dad, but it is still very complex and challenging.
Tell us about your proposal.
Becca knew I would propose, and it is part of her nature. She got very excited and bought her wedding dress before I gave her a ring. She definitely knew I had a ring and spent some time searching for it in the house.
The proposal was a surprise though, we decided to go on a secluded short vacation to a beautiful little lake house, and I proposed to her at sunset on the deck overlooking the water.
She said yes, and a few months later, she gave me a ring and proposed back to me in the park during a picnic.
I also said yes.
Tell us about your wedding day.
Like us, it was a little chaotic, and while planned, there was a lot of room for spontaneity. Our venue was a small hobby ranch outside Austin, and it was a fairly clean slate for us to design what we wanted. We were very fortunate to have many people (lovingly referred to as our dyke army) who could help us string lights, blow up balloons, decorate, put together flower bouquets. The result was a very home-spun, original and queer experience. Everyone was given queer funny stickers, tattoos, and bracelets to wear. Becca gave out cuttings from her house-plants as favors.
We also knew we would have a lot of kids in attendance, and it was important for us to make them feel welcome and have fun, so we got glow necklaces and sticks, had yard games out, and rented this over-the-top bouncy castle for them to play in. They had a great time, and after all the kids had retired for the night, we had adult guests bouncing around after midnight.
Our ceremony felt incredibly loving and just for us. Our trainer married us, and one of our dearest friends played the harp as we walked to the aisle to an original song “lesbian haircuts” and “Montero” by Lil Nas X. Becca and I also used our opportunity to sincerely speak to one another in front of our wedding guests about our relationship, our goals, what is important to us. This sincerity, this over-the-top joy, made for a very organic, alive celebration of our relationship. Promptly after the ceremony, our friends surrounded us in smoke bombs, and it was nothing short of magical.
Photography by Leah Muse Photography
Accessories Elizabeth Stone, Automic Gold
Bridespeople Gifts Shinola
Cake Zucchini Kill Bakery
Catering Elevated Soul
Cufflinks Alfred Dunhill
Decorative Elements EnFete
Engagement & Wedding Rings Tacori, Bleu Royale from M Robinson Jewelers
Gown Boutique Neiman Marcus
Gown Designer Badgley Mischka Couture
H&MU Blo Fifth Street
Officiant Nicole Helmcamp
Prop | Furniture Hire Austin Bounce House Rentals
Shoes Allen Edmonds, Cordani
Stationery Green Envelope, Zazzle
Suit Designer Capra & Cavelli
Tie Pin Swank
Venue Tiny T Ranch