Two brides in white lace wedding gowns embrace under a canopy of autumnal trees. Their smiles suggest a moment of joy and intimacy. One gown features a long, flowing train, while the other fits more snugly. Fallen leaves speckle the path and a soft, overcast sky sets a serene atmosphere.

Planning a Wedding as a Trans Bride

There were some challenges in planning their wedding, particularly when one bride was trans. However, after 18 years together, both Lauren and Juniper knew they deserved to have the Melbourne queer wedding they’d longed for.  

Two women in suits holding hands and running on a road, with trees and a hint of a water body in the background, in a black and white photo.
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Photography by Lavender Haze Weddings

Contents

Falling in Love

We’ve been together 18 years, high school sweethearts, actually, as we met when we were 16. I was the public school kid pining after the private school girl, showing up with flowers and public love songs not long after getting together. But it was Lauren who asked me out initially, over MSN messenger!

The Engagement 

I’d been hand-carving our engagement rings out of hardwood and decided it would be about time to propose once I’d finished them. It was a difficult year with grief and stress, so we took a weekend to Brisbane together. I’d booked a fantastic restaurant and got a taxi to take us to a nearby park I’d found for sunset. Lauren was pretty confused as I took her up the hill to a park bench and waited until the jogger had gone by. I sang ‘Corcovado’ in Portuguese and English and proposed there, before we had a beautiful dinner and drinks to celebrate.

We had spoken about marriage since our early 20’s, got engaged in 2019, and then, of course, everything changed in 2020. I’m glad we waited until we could have the big party that we wanted and that enough of our community could attend in safe enough ways.

Wedding Planning

Why they chose Cadella Park as their wedding venue

Lauren’s folks have a property in Carlsruhe and hosted the recovery breakfast at theirs, and we were keen to have the wedding in the Macedon ranges if we could. Cadella Park by Prunella took our breath away when we visited, a mixture of rustic farm and picturesque barn that really matched our aesthetic. It was so convenient that Prunella is also known for their incredible floristry, and the caterer attached was incredible. 

The events coordinator and on-the-day staff were simply AMAZING. They really helped us nail the last few details and keep things smooth on the day, full marks.

Choosing a wedding theme

We didn’t have a theme so much as “For the queers” and “It’s Autumn!” so people came in various colors and styles, which was amazing for photos! It was chilly and a bit wet outside, but all the foliage in the surrounding areas was gorgeous.

DIY Projects

As part of my volunteering with Melbourne Bisexual Network, I had access to a badge maker, so we got our friend to design pronoun pins, which we stamped and gave to guests and staff. I love making cocktails, and Lauren is a tea connoisseur, so for our guests, I made a Cointreau orange liqueur that we gave out in little bottles with gold sparkles, and Lauren made a tea blend for those who are alcohol-free.

Finding trans-inclusive wedding outfits

Both of us struggled with approaching dress shopping, though friends really helped us out. Lauren had to shop around to find places that had her size to try on, though Designer Bridal House was excellent and really looked after her. I emailed them to check they were trans-inclusive, they’d actually served a trans woman the week before, and they were great on the day. We ended up with dresses that complemented each other really well!

Lauren was thinking about a change into a suit from the beginning and went to Anton’s for a tailored suit for the wedding afternoon. We’ve been a fan for years, I’d gotten a vest there for my 21st, so I knew it would be quality. 

They fitted Lauren so handsomely and met her style and comfort needs.

The Wedding Day

How the wedding day felt

My mum took us to the venue where we got changed into our dresses in a beautiful bluestone side cottage. It was emotional seeing each other in our dresses for the first time, and we had only a few people drop in to look after us. Nevo, our celebrant, helped ground us and run through things one last time, and we had a few photos to get ourselves settled while waiting for the big start to the day. 

Honestly, the entire experience of the wedding was beautiful and emotional. There was so much love in the room, so many special details and everything truly important went off without a hitch. The time flew by, and our faces hurt from smiling by the night’s end!

Some of the best moments

It was really moving to go down the aisle, Lauren with her dad, me with my mum. We were so heightened by the emotion of it all from that point it was a happy blur, so I’m grateful for the support of everyone we had involved. We had a few moments through the day just with each other, pretty much saying, “Wow, we’re married,” and “I love you so much.”

Dancing wasn’t the centerpiece of the reception, though we had our first dance together, and it was nice to dance with my mum a bit as I remember she taught me, embarrassingly, when I was a pre-teen! Our DJ, Richie1250’s ‘Slow Grind Fever’ wedding mix was perfect for both relaxed dancing and background ambiance for conversations.

Standout wedding vendors

Our amazing wedding photographers, Laura and Jacinta! Lauren’s not big on photos, so I wanted photographers who’d help her feel comfortable on the day, as well as some who’d celebrate my big Leo vibes. They were both so professional, transparent in communication, great with boundaries and looked after us. We had a lot of fun with them! The photos we have from the preview batch are stunning, and I couldn’t recommend Lavender Haze Photography highly enough.

Incorporating traditions into a queer wedding

We discussed it all with our Trans Wedding Celebrant, Nevo, who had ideas and flexibility around our needs and wishes. We have Scottish ancestry, amongst other things, so we decided to drink from a traditional quaich together. I’d made a peated, Scottish-style whiskey, aged in a barrel that Lauren’s Dad had bought with me, which we poured on the day. 

We also exchanged jeweled rings, both made by William Griffith, who used to work next to our amazing nail artist Clara H. Our rings have different stones with the same design ring molding, which gestured towards combining what’s shared and complimentary in our love.

Lauren and I also wore other family jewelry on the day, and it felt powerful to carry that tradition together. Neither of us is religious, but in our ceremony, we called on philosophies and practices of love, with my mum reading a passage from bell hooks and my friend speaking on it too.

How it felt being a trans bride

It was pretty challenging to be a trans bride in some specifically gendered ways, approaching everything from dress shopping to how I’d sound saying my vows. We didn’t get married as a political act, the day wasn’t about my gender, and yet there’ll be lots of people who see our wedding photos for whom I’m the first trans bride they’ve knowingly seen. I’m so proud to be visible in our community and show trans joy, courage, and love, and I wouldn’t be where I am now without the support of Lauren, my beautiful WIFE! Weddings can absolutely be queer and feminist, and fun. You can do it your own way.

  • A close-up of a floral arrangement, with soft pink roses, delicate pale hydrangeas, and vivid red and green gemstone rings nestled amongst the petals. The image captures the intricate details of the flowers and the sparkling jewelry, conveying a sense of tender care and preparation.
  • In a rustic setting with stone walls, one bride in a lace dress stands while the other, in a simpler style, adjusts her partner's gown. The black and white filter emphasizes the textures and timeless quality of the moment, focusing on their expressions of love and anticipation.
  • A close-up portrait shows one bride embracing the other from behind. The expression of love and joy is palpable as they share a moment of closeness, with the intricate lace details of their gowns highlighted by the soft lighting.
  • A black and white photo captures a heartfelt moment of the brides hugging, their faces lit up with smiles. The candid nature of the photo conveys the genuine happiness and love shared between them.
  • A close-up portrait shows one bride embracing the other from behind. The expression of love and joy is palpable as they share a moment of closeness, with the intricate lace details of their gowns highlighted by the soft lighting.
  • The couple shares a warm embrace, surrounded by the autumnal beauty of a tree-lined avenue. The tenderness of the moment is captured as they look into each other's eyes, conveying deep emotion and connection.
  • An intimate moment where one bride tenderly kisses the hand of the other, standing by an old tree with a vintage water tower in the background, adding a touch of rustic charm to this romantic scene.
  • A serene image of the brides from behind, walking hand in hand along a tree-lined path. Their gowns feature delicate lace backs, and they tread gently on a carpet of fallen leaves, symbolizing their shared journey ahead.
  • The joyous couple exits a barn hand in hand, amidst a shower of flower petals. The brides are dressed in elegant white gowns with lace detailing, laughing and celebrating the moment with visible happiness.
  • A detailed image of an elaborate wedding cake decorated with intricate icing patterns and adorned with fresh flowers that include roses and peonies, boasting shades of white and soft pink, elegantly placed on a vintage silver pedestal.
  • A black and white photograph captures two brides in stunning lace gowns embracing in front of a wedding cake, set in a rustic barn venue. The background is adorned with floral arrangements and lit candles, creating an enchanting and romantic atmosphere.
  • The couple shares a kiss, framed by the grandeur of a floral archway in a high-ceiling barn. The brides' gowns spread out, merging with the rustic and floral aesthetics of the venue. The moment is captured in black and white, highlighting the dramatic contrast and the depth of their connection.
  • A monochrome image of one of the brides smiling broadly, the joy of the day evident in her expression. The simplicity of the photo allows the emotion to take center stage, creating a timeless and evocative portrait.
  • The trans bride and her partner exchange rings in front of guests, beneath a lush floral arrangement. The candid shot captures smiles and the warmth of the moment, with the surrounding guests and rustic interior of the venue framing the intimate exchange.
  • Inside a barn, the brides stand before an officiant wearing a vibrant red outfit with a colorful pattern. The rustic charm of the venue is evident, with exposed beams and a floral arrangement that cascades above the couple like a natural chandelier, adding a splash of color and life to the ceremony.
  • The brides, dressed in elegant gowns, gaze lovingly at each other amidst a wooded landscape. One bride's bouquet with flowers and trailing ribbons introduces vibrant colors to the scene, complementing the natural backdrop.
  • Outdoors among trees, the brides stand facing each other, one adjusting the other's hair. Their wedding gowns blend with the natural surroundings, while the bride holding a bouquet brings color into the scene with flowers that echo the hues of the autumn leaves around them.
  • A bride in a lace gown is seated, her posture relaxed and elegant. Standing beside her, the other bride holds a sword, adding a unique and personal touch to their attire. The warm lighting and stone backdrop create an atmosphere that is both historical and intimate.

Married Life

What does marriage mean?

We’ve been together 18 years, living together for 13, so day-to-day, it doesn’t change heaps. For us, it was important to celebrate what we’ve built together, making a ritual of love and connection. The wedding was for expressing gratitude for each other and our combined networks of connection. It was a chance to draw on rich symbols and the history of unions to take us into the next part of our lives together. Marriage is also a cementing of a family unit for us, though what family means is expansive, including treasured friends and a broader community. It was also an excuse to put on the best party we’ve ever held and look incredible!

Advice for other couples planning a wedding

Try to get vendors who reflect you and your values. This helped us feel like each choice was authentic and “us.” It’s a huge event to plan and will take longer and be more difficult than you think, so budget time regularly to plan and progress things. Equally, for each night to put aside for wedding admin, plan a date night each week just for romance/play so you don’t get overwhelmed with the stress of it all. Start the planning early, and determine which things need to be booked/decided when.

Plan some time on the day itself to take a breath together, otherwise, the event will go by in a flash.

Get ready for some big emotions, be it navigating the guestlist, writing your vows, handling family conflicts, or even coordinating a prenuptial agreement. Weddings can bring a lot of emotions, so we were both grateful for our friends and therapists!

Reflecting on the wedding planning journey

We wish we’d decided who’d manage which tasks earlier in our planning process. Some things were ‘shared responsibility’ for too long, which increased stress and reduced efficiency overall for getting things done. I’d also get the stationary and printing menus/place settings and table arrangements done sooner than the week before. That was a bit stressful!

I’m glad that through the whole planning process, we spoke directly to each other when things were feeling difficult so that we could navigate it together. We also had amazing close supports who helped us through some of the challenges of it, so I’d recommend looping friends in and accepting offers of support.

We also shared a ‘Double Hen’s’ party, booking out Café Gummo for the night and hiring some of Melbourne’s hottest queer acts; Winter Greene, Frankie Valentine, and Ugliest Hottie. It was an excellent chance for wedding guests our age to meet each other and for us to have a fun time with lower stakes before the Big Day. We had a fantastic time together!

The wedding guest list was only people who we know and like, and who celebrate us as a couple. That meant that we were so happy to see everyone there on the day.

We asked for no wedding gifts but donations to Transgender Victoria instead, as we already have an established home together. Guests wrote in a guestbook instead, with stuck-in Polaroids, which has now become a beautiful memories book that made us cry reading it together.

  • A candid black and white shot of the two brides sharing a laugh while cutting their wedding cake. The rustic barn setting creates a backdrop of relaxed joy and authenticity.
  • The image shows the brides cutting their wedding cake, sharing a light-hearted moment. The cake is ornate and decorated with flowers, and the brides’ expressions of joy add to the celebratory atmosphere.
  • A close-up of the brides' hands as they showcase their wedding rings and intricate nail art. The detailed image highlights the sparkle of the rings and the ornate beauty of the manicure, symbolizing the care put into every aspect of their day.
  • The brides share a romantic kiss on a tree-lined path covered in gravel and autumn leaves, with their wedding gowns flowing behind them. The natural canopy forms an archway that encapsulates the intimate moment.
  • The brides stand closely, surrounded by a stunning floral arrangement and candles. The warm ambient lighting of the barn highlights their gowns and the affectionate moment they are sharing, creating an image of love and beauty.
  • A bride smiles softly, captured in a black and white photograph. The focus is on her expression, framed by the soft out-of-focus floral decoration, conveying the joy and the intimate atmosphere of the wedding day.
  • A tender moment as one bride, dressed in a suit, embraces the other, capturing a golden sunset that bathes the scene in a warm glow. The affection between the brides is palpable as they stand in an open field.
  • A tender moment as one bride, dressed in a suit, embraces the other, capturing a golden sunset that bathes the scene in a warm glow. The affection between the brides is palpable as they stand in an open field.
  • A timeless black and white image captures the brides walking hand in hand, their silhouettes framed by trees and fallen leaves. The grace of the gowns in motion and the natural setting evoke a sense of romantic tranquility.
  • One bride in a suit and the other in a lace gown lean against a wooden fence, set against a rural backdrop. This intimate portrait contrasts the elegance of wedding attire with the rustic charm of the countryside.
  • The brides share a dance surrounded by guests in a variety of colorful attire. The warm lighting and rustic interior of the barn add to the cozy and festive atmosphere.

Dancing With Her Partner
Photography & Videography by The Lavender Haze

Caterer, Florist & Reception Venue Prunella
Celebrant Nevo Zisin Civil Celebrant
Ceremony Venue Cadella Park
DJ Richie1250
Dress Boutique Designer Bridal House
Hair and Makeup Ethical Makeup Artistry, Tom Zappala, Cherry Bomb Hair
Signage & Stationery Cara Tune
Suit Designer Antons Melbourne
Wedding Rings William Griffiths of Metal Couture

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