The newlywed couple walks hand in hand, smiling and looking at each other affectionately. The bride is in a strapless white gown, and the other bride is in a blue suit with a white boutonnière. The guests are seated in the background, with floating bubbles enhancing the festive atmosphere.

Coming out to a Conservative Christian Chinese Family

When they first met, Lisa (she/her) was a Bible study leader and coming out to her conservative Christian Chinese family wasn’t an option. They dated on and off, but eventually ended it.

Years later, like a good Korean drama movie, an elevator door opened and it was Edwina (she/they). A relationship began to blossom and the rest is their history.

Tell us about coming out to a conservative Christian Chinese family. 

When we met, I thought I was straight, but I found myself slowly becoming obsessed with her. 

After we finally got together, I had to keep it a secret from everyone. I was a Bible study leader at the time for my conservative church and certainly wasn’t allowed to be in a same-sex relationship nor engage in any sort of premarital sex. 

My family is culturally traditional Chinese, and they soon started suspecting something between us. My Mom cried and told me ‘not to do this to your father’. 

Over the course of the next year, we broke up and got back together so many times. Eventually ending it for good, or so we thought. Apparently, Edwina waited for the next five years, thinking I’d come back. But I didn’t. 

Edwina tried to move on. She found herself in another relationship and became engaged. Because of the pandemic, that wedding was postponed three times. 

Meanwhile, I moved back home and as the elevator doors opened in my new apartment complex, there she was. Standing with her fiance, and her fiance’s kid. 

It truly was a Korean drama moment. 

She told her fiance that she would always love me, but I wasn’t queer and I was Christian who wanted to date someone of the same religion. 

We continued to run into each other several times over the next week, and Edwina texted me to get closure. We met up, and it all felt surreal. She learned that I had stopped being religious and came out to everyone in my life years earlier. All the barriers between us had been removed.

Edwina’s relationship ended, and here we are. 

Tell us about your favorite moments from your Hawaii wedding day.

We started out exchanging letters from separate hotel rooms. We then got ready and did a first look. Then we did wedding party and family photos. 

We incorporated our culture and had a Chinese lion dance. Lisa danced the hula for Edwina. We had a flipbook booth and open bar. 

It was everything we hoped that it would be.

Photography by Christie Pham Photography

DJ Bliss DJs
Dress Boutique
Casablanca Bridal & Formals
Florist Spinning Web Florist
Hair & Makeup Cj Siepka Hair & Make Up
Lion Dance Wah Ngai Lion Dance
Officiant & MC
Podagee Princess Productions
808 Flipbooks
The Wedding Linen Company
Venue & Caterer Halekulani Hotel
Wedding Planner A Perfect Day

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