The newlywed couple walks hand in hand, smiling and looking at each other affectionately. The bride is in a strapless white gown, and the other bride is in a blue suit with a white boutonnière. The guests are seated in the background, with floating bubbles enhancing the festive atmosphere.

Coming out to a Conservative Christian Chinese Family

When they first met, Lisa (she/her) was a Bible study leader and coming out to her conservative Christian Chinese family wasn’t an option. They dated on and off, but eventually ended it.

Years later, like a good Korean drama movie, an elevator door opened and it was Edwina (she/they). A relationship began to blossom and the rest is their history.

Tell us about coming out to a conservative Christian Chinese family. 

When we met, I thought I was straight, but I found myself slowly becoming obsessed with her. 

After we finally got together, I had to keep it a secret from everyone. I was a Bible study leader at the time for my conservative church and certainly wasn’t allowed to be in a same-sex relationship nor engage in any sort of premarital sex. 

My family is culturally traditional Chinese, and they soon started suspecting something between us. My Mom cried and told me ‘not to do this to your father’. 

Over the course of the next year, we broke up and got back together so many times. Eventually ending it for good, or so we thought. Apparently, Edwina waited for the next five years, thinking I’d come back. But I didn’t. 

Edwina tried to move on. She found herself in another relationship and became engaged. Because of the pandemic, that wedding was postponed three times. 

Meanwhile, I moved back home and as the elevator doors opened in my new apartment complex, there she was. Standing with her fiance, and her fiance’s kid. 

It truly was a Korean drama moment. 

She told her fiance that she would always love me, but I wasn’t queer and I was Christian who wanted to date someone of the same religion. 

We continued to run into each other several times over the next week, and Edwina texted me to get closure. We met up, and it all felt surreal. She learned that I had stopped being religious and came out to everyone in my life years earlier. All the barriers between us had been removed.

Edwina’s relationship ended, and here we are. 

Tell us about your favorite moments from your Hawaii wedding day.

We started out exchanging letters from separate hotel rooms. We then got ready and did a first look. Then we did wedding party and family photos. 

We incorporated our culture and had a Chinese lion dance. Lisa danced the hula for Edwina. We had a flipbook booth and open bar. 

It was everything we hoped that it would be.

A close-up of a sign on an easel welcoming guests to an "unplugged" ceremony, surrounded by white folding chairs and a floral bouquet on the grass. The sign asks guests to turn off their devices to enjoy the special moment.
Rows of white folding chairs are set up on a green lawn, with vibrant green plants and a blurred building in the background. The setting suggests an outdoor event.
Two musicians, one playing a violin and the other a viola, are seated and focused on their instruments. The background is serene, with a blurred building and greenery.
One queer bride surrounded by their bridal party who is also all wearing suits.
A close-up of a bride holding a bouquet of pink, white, and lavender flowers. The focus is on the bride’s hands, highlighting her wedding ring. She smiles gently, showing joy and contentment.
A close-up of a bride holding a bouquet of pink, lavender, and white flowers with green leaves. The bride is partially out of frame, focusing on the bouquet.
The newlywed couple shares a kiss in front of a floral arch. The bride wears a strapless white gown and holds a bouquet, while the other bride is in a blue suit. The scene is outdoors, with greenery in the background.
The newlywed couple walks down the aisle hand in hand, smiling and looking at each other with affection. The setting is outdoors, with green grass and rows of white folding chairs. Bubbles float around, adding to the celebratory atmosphere.
The newlywed couple walks hand in hand, smiling and looking at each other affectionately. The bride is in a strapless white gown, and the other bride is in a blue suit with a white boutonnière. The guests are seated in the background, with floating bubbles enhancing the festive atmosphere.
The newlywed couple stands together in an arched doorway, captured in black and white. The bride wears a long, elegant gown and holds a bouquet, while the other bride is in a suit, looking up at her with admiration.
The black-and-white image shows a newlywed couple standing hand in hand, framed by palm leaves. The bride wears a white gown and holds a bouquet, while the other bride is in a suit.
The couple walks hand in hand along the beach. The bride wears a white gown and holds a bouquet, while the other bride wears a blue suit. They look at each other lovingly, with the ocean in the background.
A newlywed couple stands on a rocky outcrop, facing each other and smiling. The bride holds a bouquet and wears a white dress, while the other bride wears a blue suit and gray vest. The ocean and sky are visible in the background.
The blurred image shows the ocean and a distant skyline in the background, with a bride in a white dress in the foreground, slightly out of focus. The atmosphere is tranquil, and the water stretches to the horizon.
A wide shot of a couple standing on a rocky outcrop by the ocean. The bride holds a bouquet, and the other bride wears a blue suit. They face each other, creating a romantic scene against a clear sky and calm water.
The round tables are a part of the indoor wedding reception.
The blurred image shows a festive lion dance at a wedding reception. The lion is white and red, and guests are smiling and interacting with it.
The couple is cutting their wedding cake together. The bride wears a strapless white gown, and the other bride wears a blue suit. The cake is a tiered white design, and the setting is warmly lit.
The black-and-white image shows the newlywed couple sharing a tender moment during their first dance. The bride wears a strapless gown, and the other bride wears a suit. They smile at each other, expressing love and joy.

Photography by Christie Pham Photography

DJ Bliss DJs
Dress Boutique Casablanca Bridal & Formals
Florist Spinning Web Florist
Hair & Makeup Cj Siepka Hair & Make Up
Lion Dance Wah Ngai Lion Dance
Officiant & MC Podagee Princess Productions
Photobooth 808 Flipbooks
Rental The Wedding Linen Company
Venue & Caterer Halekulani Hotel
Wedding Planner A Perfect Day

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